Re-Learning Our Gifts

Most of my posts lately seem destined to be without pictures:

I have few new external vistas to show you:

my yard, this lovely neighborhood in the city

my post office, farmer's marketing and gentle yoga classes...

But INSIDE....

ohhhh, inside....

there are miracles occurring every day, beautiful things unseen.

To state the obvious, yes: part of the miracle is this baby, now the size of a medium green olive or kumquat

but

the other piece of the marvel is happening somewhere I cannot pinpoint

between my heart, soul and spirit...

it is a reforming of self at its roots:

a cosmic rebirth I cannot even begin to flesh out in writing

but whose light-bones I will try to describe.

I cannot do very much right now, there is little soldering being performed,

minimal tooling:

I feel victorious if I eat well and hold things - that's enough.

I've always been restless on vacations and during times when I've been instructed to 'take it easy', feeling a guilty pull towards perfection and work

but here in this stillness

I am remembering who I am

and the shocker is that it is not what I do!

What I do is the vehicle that puts the love I feel out into the world palpably,

but re-discovering the woman behind the creative action

has been really nice:

a re-introduction to self, to others.

Being that I'm horizontal a lot, I've been allowing myself to do things previously unthinkable:

Watch seasons 1-4 of Mad Men (currently episode 6, season 3)

.

not obsessing about getting my money's worth with my unlimited yoga package

(i.e. going 3-4 times/week)

.

giving up the ghost when it comes to whole grains/lean meats/dark veggies:

right now it's fruit, crackers and Babybel Cheese rounds

.

stop worrying about finances

.

give over to the desire to sleep whenever it strikes me, and it certainly does that alot...

there have been books consumed,

water sipped

letters written and read

real gingerale and ice

sweet, long conversations between Anthony and I where we laugh more than ever before

about things we previously frowned over

patience

prudence

long sighs that feel so good

sweet misguided attempts to dress up that end in comfies again

phone calls

convos

evening walks with the handsomest man I know

meditation

the sound of crickets and peepers in the dark...

In all of this there is a rediscovery of life at its most basic and beautiful:

I am falling in love with everything

letting the right ones in

and cherishing this time of newness and rest.

I wish you a rediscovery or two in the coming days!

xoxox,

Allison