Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Pendulum



If you watch my feed over


on Instagram

you can see that the age-old pendulum that swings so widely 
between metals/stones and leather
has decidedly gone toward the latter.

I am going to have a shop update


either Friday or Monday depending on what 
I get done when.

I've got a fever and the only cure is more
cow.....hide.

xoxoxox,
Sunny

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Working from a Tender Place.


Durga Earrings. Hammered Brass. Sterling and Fine Silver. Chrysoprase. Ocean Jasper.




The Stuff of Stars Earrings. Quartz Shard. Hydrangea. Star. Comet Tails.




To the Moon Necklace. Sugar-fired enamel and watercolor on copper. Sterling and fine silvers. Brass comet tails. Chrysoprase faceted rondelles. Bee Wings. Bone Toggle.






I think when we feel lost
the veil might be the very thinnest it can be 
while we ride in these clunky bodies.

If we surrender that lostness with love
the way opens so beautifully:
not without pain, that's not the point,
I used to think that's the point - the place of painlessness.
That's not a human life.
That's the self-help section at Barnes and Noble.

I worked with an aching heart this week,
these last few weeks
and surrendered daily to the uncomfortable place
with as little dramatics as I could.

The result was such an intense focus
and such good solid workmanship.
My head flitted nowhere
on account of the tenderness in my chest
and it all grounded down through my hands into the metal
and it was so so so good.

I am incredibly happy to offer this work
.
It feels so full of healing
.
It was created so prayerfully
.
When everything else felt like fumbling
these strong bonds tethered everything right back up.

*****

These four pieces will be in the


tonight.

xoxox,
Sunny



Sunday, July 6, 2014

Light, Tunnel, Etc.


Schmilly has been working hard: six-days-a-week hard.
Twelve-plus-hours-a-day hard.
Ridiculous-commute hard.

Thus I have been working hard, too.
Mothering.
SunnyRising-ing.
Cooking.
Lifting weights.
Cleaning.
Smurfing very VERY hard, my little Smurfs.


We are both ringed in grey but every day we get up lucky.
We go to bed lucky.
We show up and man/woman up even if we're bleary-eyed with coffee iv drips.
We've got grit and grit'll polish you right shiny, I trust this.

I recall work 'sprints' or 'crunches' that Anthony had through our eight-plus years together
and I remember more bickering and short fuses... it's so amazing how having a child
and parenting them just entails sacrifice so constantly that you cease to think of it at all,
and some things like the energy for arguing and making-up are funneled into care and teamwork
in a really powerful way.

We are more gentle
and understanding
and things are funnier 
and the jokes are older
and that man just keeps getting more handsome with the passing years
so really, how could I help but flirt and cradle?



We know that the game he's working on is coming into a new phase soon-ish, one that means
the weekends will eventually once again be our own 
and there is a light at the end of the schedule-tunnel.

I remember when I was still a receptionist wishing and praying for so much more
someone wise told me that if I wanted to let something go, I had to love it first.

I did that. I treated guests like queens and fellow employees with love.
I appreciated the free coffee and internet access.
I answered the phones like every caller was my own mama.
I faked it until I made it if I had to:
Eventually I truly cared.



So about a month ago when the pressure and stress of wearing all these rad hats became so intense that I thought it might crush my spirit
 I blessedly remembered those sage words of advice.

I have allowed myself to be less of a diligent friend. Lovingly.
Emails take longer.
I have permitted myself to sit still more with O, less inclined to romp and please in this time of energy depletion.
I have, as always, gone to the studio and found it to be a balm. That never changes.



My expectations are more realistic in terms of what there is time for
and how to breathe into the hours differently 
so that they feel more rich with possibility
and when I'm like, "Fuck it" 
I call my mom
and she tells me wonderful things
and makes my frailties feel less brittle.


I've counted my blessings and they are many.
I've said secret prayers for the drivers with whom I share the road, even (and maybe especially) the ones who put others at risk in their haste.
The house is less tidy.
The garden is a place where weeds have longer occupancy: you're welcome, dandelions.
The car is looking like we live in Death Valley, all caked with dust.
All loved, all of these things.



When life goes back to having more room for wiggling
I hope to look back on this time and think fondly
about how much was let go
in favor of sanity and care.

That I sat on the old bench in the back yard with O around sunset
and caught the bubbles he blew instead of dusting the Havisham cobwebs from the mud room.
That I asked for help when I needed it
and was loved enough to receive.
That I came down hard on nothing
and let the fire get a little low:
you can do that in the summer
and the sun'll take up the slack.
That I had the tattoo consultation.

Every morning's sunrise
can be the light at the end of the tunnel
you're still slogging through
when you love that long dark dank 
place enough to know
it has a gift for you
even if you cannot hold it yet...
just love it
in a real and true way
and feel the resistance
fade

.

xoxo,
Sunny

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Comfort


Mixed Metal Comfort Earrings




Sterling Silver Comfort Earrings





Seed Pod Comfort Earrings





Bone Series Bracelet with Fire Agate




I came to my bench the other night the way some arrive at a church,
just there to pray and thank and receive 

to offer all of the gratitude this beautiful life is worthy of
and weep a little for feeling lost.

As I sat with my sketchbook this wonderful little set of doodles kept cycling,
these little spiky/soft earrings
with multiple layers and 
delicate symbols
growing out of their middles
like a language
.

As I hammered quietly and worked the ideas into life
such a warmth and peace came over me,
like every little bit was soothing
and humming
and comforting me
.

I have not yet nor do I ever expect to have something like this happen to me,
to have arrived in studio to fabricate as a means of wrapping myself in what I know
having come from the outside world that felt too new and raw
and having the pieces born of that look like alien text
that so clearly reads as both protective and loving
.

I worked long and late.
I made a few pairs for you, too.
I hope they bring you comfort
when you need it most...
little shields
little paddles to the sea
little lilting voices
singing you home.



xoxo,
Sunny

Monday, June 30, 2014

Preschool


It was a morning of great excitement
on everyone's part: Orion's first day of Preschool.
As I write this he is napping and restless in his bed, tossing and turning
and fighting sleep: so much newness!

Before we got to Preschool he was exclaiming
and wide-eyed and bubbling over with joy about his helmet (for riding bikes there)
and his backpack (a Pixar movie he's not seen)
.



When I picked him up he melted into my arms and heaved a few short sobs,
asking if he could sleep in the car.
He had the look of a boy who had played and played hard.
Eyes ringed with fatigue
mouth full of new experiences I had not had with him.

It broke my heart
and it made me happy
all at once
like some prophecy foretold by a million moms before me: 
you will give him to the world, little push by little push.


My schedule is all changed now, I feel disoriented by it...
the convenience of a babysitter replaced by lots of schlepping and lots of new faces
and for an introvert these are hillocks.

Just like my wonderstruck intrepid boy I will brave these privileged things,
stronger for the new map I will someday easily trace by memory
the women who will become friends
the emotion of a significant leap
.


For now I will plant my little flag in the dirt
and explore this time and space with fresh eyes
.


When we catch this strange rhythm 
this new melody
I just know it's going to feel
like home.

xoxo,
Sunny

Friday, June 27, 2014

Summer Magic Spells II


Verdant 
willowy 
pillowy
shaded


Dripping with gemstones
and hotter than Hades


Meet me out back in the shade of the tree
strawberry kisses and tall cold sweet tea
.


Dappled in sun and in shade and in sound
chirping cicadas and birds singing rounds


Stay with me love until night cools our brow
summer, sweet summer
the luminous 
now
.


Two pairs of sweet and hot Summer Magic Spell Earrings
will breeze their way into the 


today
..

xoxo,
Sunny

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Holy Yes Clutch






This clutch celebrates the Holy Yes.

Not the 'yes' as in "would you like fries with that?" or "Yes, I think I will stock up on leeks, they're so good in soup."

This is not an everyday 'yes' to which I've spent countless hours tooling a valentine -
it's a Holy Yes

 as in
"Yes, I will redefine my worth in ways that feel better to me"
"Yes I will hear this diagnosis and keep breathing"
"Yes I will carry and raise a child"
"Yes I will strike out on my own"
"Yes I will take this lifelong vow and honor it well"
"Yes I will die and live with that knowledge soulfully"
.

Holy holy holy
yes
.

You may notice that the 'e' is backwards. That gorgeous letter represents the mid-point of the epic 'yes' journey, the part where one understandably wants so badly to take back the initial resolve
and throw in the towel, go back to 'no' or normal or get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here-anywhere-will-do!!

It's where shit gets real. The 'e' part. It's where a lot of players fold and with good reason - the mid-point of a Holy Yes can feel like Dante's writing your life as you live it.
It can feel like everything is and will always go terribly wrong.
People go back on their word.
Plumbing fails.
Lovers die.
You get so so so so sick.

I don't blame you for turning around at 'e', you will not find that decision puts you in a lonely room:
so many life stories have that turning point.
Maybe someone chose something a little more familiar and safe - that does not make their experience any less valid: it just doesn't make it a complete Holy Yes.
When you turn around at 'e' you are so very human.

But oh dear friend....
oh sweet loved one of mine
if you keep going at 'e' when it hurts so bad you cannot breathe
when the devil's got your big toe
and the water's up around your mouth

I

Promise

You

something amazing will happen.


It might not happen at the very moment you decide to keep going in that painful place.
It could take daysweeksyears before the reward of that courage comes to fruition:
grace grows at its own pace.
I did not mean for that to rhyme but whatever
because I cannot stop to change a silly word
when I am here to convince you to keep going:
I will keep going, too
in solidarity.

Beautiful, if you keep going
to 's'
the boat rights itself eventually
and you live the in beautiful glow of dedication.

Even if your Holy Yes is rough and tumble
there is a warmth that suffuses a whole being
when you keep going past the valley of the shadow of 'e'.
Someone I love is married and it's a terrible match most of the time
but she stays and though for some people that sounds punitive and unthinkable
to her it is like weight-lifting for her soul:
she is finding strength and love in places she would have never gone
if the road was steady and easy.

My own Holy Yes was deciding to have and raise a babe. My 'e's come from daily things and fears of the overall picture
and when I breathe through them
I swear I can feel my little spirit grow
like the little sprouts that come up between tomato branches
.

I know you have a Yes so big and beautiful.
I hope you are living it
and if you've not done that yet
I hope you will
leap
and find yourself lifted
into adventure
and rushing blood in your veins
and life sweet life
embracing you with wide arms
everything a chorus
of
'Yes'
.

I built this clutch
out of veg-tooled leather
and turquoise pig suede

10 X 2 X 5
.

of Arizona turquoise water-drop-cabbed
and wrapped expertly in fine and sterling silvers

of hours
and knife cuts
and hand set rivets and stitching

of dyes and light-body acrylic paints
and more love than I could ever
explain or express.

Holy Yes.



.

xoxo,
Sunny