I went to lunch with my dearest
Katherine today and we were discussing stuck-ness and I was describing how we kind of wear a path in the grass and find ourselves exasperated with our present circumstances. I then said that what we need to do to get off our well-worn path of frustration is to "Throw an orange", and I guess I meant we'd follow the orange we...just...threw (?) It makes total sense in my mind and it made total sense to Katherine.
Perhaps it meant that we distract ourselves with something bright and different and watch where it lands, somewhere completely foreign and exotic compared to our constant.
I think it's time for me to throw an orange. My shops are silent as the grave save for custom orders in progress. There is so much talk of fear in our country. There is fear in my home given that the one income ( for now, mine ) is sporadic at best, and I am tired of worrying.
I am simply going to do what I am doing in my studio for the love of it and pursue day-time work, likely part-time. If doing what you love becomes fearful then the love is leeched out of it daily: I refuse to sacrifice my koi and leaves and flowers and stones and silver to the leeches of fear.
I have one lead that would be amazing: I hope it goes through.
This will mean less posting and less creating, which makes my heart feel slightly heavy, but it also means the mortgage will not be a worry and it will give Anthony the freedom to not have to grab whatever is offered to him if the fit isn't right.
I must remember in this that I have not failed to 'be an artist' if I spend a few months giving my time to something else ( in this ideal case, helping one of my dearest girlfriends start her own amazing business as her assistant ) - I am simply doing what I need to do for my family.
Rolling up my shirtsleeves, focusing my mind on throwing an orange in the widest arc my muscles can make.
We had an amazing time. That is one inspiring, gentle and completely focused woman. I came away from the experience so affected by someone doing good in the world: her portraits show such a love of craft and a sensitivity to beauty all around. She's the girl who finds the cool things in every city, the offbeat things that you stumble upon that make a town memorable...
