Monday, November 17, 2008

Throwing Oranges

I went to lunch with my dearest Katherine today and we were discussing stuck-ness and I was describing how we kind of wear a path in the grass and find ourselves exasperated with our present circumstances. I then said that what we need to do to get off our well-worn path of frustration is to "Throw an orange", and I guess I meant we'd follow the orange we...just...threw (?) It makes total sense in my mind and it made total sense to Katherine.
Perhaps it meant that we distract ourselves with something bright and different and watch where it lands, somewhere completely foreign and exotic compared to our constant.

I think it's time for me to throw an orange. My shops are silent as the grave save for custom orders in progress. There is so much talk of fear in our country. There is fear in my home given that the one income ( for now, mine ) is sporadic at best, and I am tired of worrying.

I am simply going to do what I am doing in my studio for the love of it and pursue day-time work, likely part-time. If doing what you love becomes fearful then the love is leeched out of it daily: I refuse to sacrifice my koi and leaves and flowers and stones and silver to the leeches of fear.
I have one lead that would be amazing: I hope it goes through.
This will mean less posting and less creating, which makes my heart feel slightly heavy, but it also means the mortgage will not be a worry and it will give Anthony the freedom to not have to grab whatever is offered to him if the fit isn't right.
I must remember in this that I have not failed to 'be an artist' if I spend a few months giving my time to something else ( in this ideal case, helping one of my dearest girlfriends start her own amazing business as her assistant ) - I am simply doing what I need to do for my family.
Rolling up my shirtsleeves, focusing my mind on throwing an orange in the widest arc my muscles can make.


Ann from Montana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ann from Montana said...

Excellent path!

Unfortunately, all of the fear is holding everyone back and will continue to make things worse. I am self-employed (for 23 years) and have weathered my share of anxiety. Thankfully, I have learned that for me, the key is "reckless confidence":

Let go in reckless confidence all that shackles you to yesterday, imprisons you in your own small self today and frightens you with the uncertainty of tomorrow. Brennan Manning

I am not putting off "living", and while exercising some restraint, I am also moving forward - new camera, spiffy lens - for my love of photography. At the same time, I'm working hard at my day job which I happen to enjoy also.

I love your attitude - hope many read and take it to heart and I wish you the very best.

Ann from Montana said...

I deleted my first comment...neglected to preview and too many typos!

C & L said...

Throwing Oranges - what a perfect title for your autobiography! :)

Good Girls Studio said...

Let's all throw some oranges! I know how you feel about the creativity being squashed when you are under so much pressure! When your stress is diminished your creativity will be like giving birth it will be so poignant! Good luck to you in your search!

Sunny Rising Leather said...

Ann, your photography is unbelievable and contains so much heart: I am glad that you are always moving forward with it :) I adore your visits to my blog!

c& amp: lol!!!!

Goodgirls: perhaps we can all throw oranges together on a specific date and time :)

Katherine said...

Too bad I throw like a girl. ;-p

Thanks for lunch and for helping to clear my vision. I love you!

Good Girls Studio said...

name a date & time ; )

Naomi said...

i know what you mean when you talk about the "fear". everyone is nervous, everyone afraid. i'm "in-between" jobs right now, and during a brainstorming session at a local pub, i overheard a table to my left talking of their layoff. evidently, all 4 women at the table had lost their jobs that morning.

while we all wonder how the bills are going to get paid next month, i've seen the beauty of people reaching out to each other, to help, to connect, to rediscover that human companionship is priceless and costs only as much as a smile.

i have my share of crippling anxiety. days go by when leaving the house is a huge ordeal. but this too will one day be a memory... and i'm taking the chance to leave my comfortable, smooth, worn path to chase an orange. it's amazing how many people i've run into running through the unexplored lushness.

our paths may be comfortable, but they're often lonely. i'm glad to be exploring the forest and streams with other orange throwers :)

Ann from Montana said...

Beautiful comment Naomi! Funny to come home and find it as I was noticing to myself yesterday how much kinder people have been.

I live in a relatively small community where we do make eye contact and smile but still, it seems like there is a bit more genuiness lately.

I would hope that we could all turn fear - or most of it - into opportunity to reach out to others, to allow others to reach out to us and to explore new options. Kind of incredible to think of all the new stories that might be written in the coming year as we all adjust.

I keep coming back and rereading this post... An uplifting comment on a beautiful post - sunshine to me today!

Foxy Broccoli said...

Thank you to you wonderful women connecting out there and showing that love is available for each of us, and the next turn in the path is our next opportunity for bursting outside of the past that stifles us... I feel that I am a very creative person inside, but don't currently work in an environment that feeds my soul. I'm working slow but sure on my own time to gather these pieces of myself and allow their energy to increase.. I have one room in my house that I've dedicated thus far... My Dream Room... thanks for your posting.. it is fueling my dreams..our collective dreams..

Sunny Rising Leather said...

you have made me cry. Perhaps writing professionally should be something to explore in this lush time of loss and renewal in your life :) So many hugs!!

Ann, Isn't that the truth? I am seriously thinking of having an orange throwing day in the next few weeks with all of us participating!!!

Foxy, my hope is that your dream room grows into the whole house and every corner of your life: thank YOU for coming by and writing here :)

The Noisy Plume: said...

Throw that orange baby.
And have faith. Always.