Thursday, May 1, 2008
If I was an LOLcat picture, the text would read "I has bin crying". My day was excellent in-studio. I adore those who visit my shop and love the emailing and figuring and nailing down the perfect custom order, as well as making them. And I wrote a song, and it was so satisfying: it's a song from a man's perspective, which makes me so happy. He's built a boat and is looking for a bride. I wrote it for my best friend Matt, who is recovering from heartache.
I went to work at the leetle yoga/pilates studio I normally call my sanity 15 hours/week and it was slightly chaotic. Nothing I normally couldn't handle. The thing that made it nearly unbearable is I discovered upon driving over there that I am having the kind of day where I BLUSH. UN. CONTROL.ABLY. Ack, they are so awkward and painful, those days. It's the days when I am most psychic and most vulnerable, and there is no rhyme nor reason to it, just a redness that comes and goes at will. And today at the studio someone pointed it out and as I got redder and redder her laughter got higher and higher as she announced my escalating color to the group of five people standing around me and I cannot even type it without crying. I don't know why it ached me to my soul.
I think the vast majority of the time I thrive when unseen, when writing a song or tapping on leather, and sometimes I am completely unprepared for strangers and being noticed or seen. I think I should work on this.