From the moment I met my son earthside
a great shift occurred in me,
one of beauty and newness.
I have struggled much over the last few months to both redefine the shape of my life
and leave myself the fuck alone because for God's sake, look at what I just DID(!).
There have been moments of such powerful sadness, loneliness and fear
dancing in overlap with awe, wonder and spectacular blisses
so much so that the idea of center, the earthy notion of grounding has
been all but lost in the emotions and thoughts.
In the last few days I have sensed a peace come over my life;
peace that came from purpose -
from a series of actions and decisions spaced
like breadcrumbs for my airy energies
to re-tether around my soul.
Here is a list of what works for me - in sharing it my greatest hope is that you find something that also creates balance for yourself, dear reader.
The Way Back
1. Scale back belongings
If one's life is a pie-chart full of relationships, tasks and things it's so easy to feel that bloated sense of 'too much' far too often, especially in this day of constant communication.
One way that I reduce the amount of fullness (being that relationships are of the utmost importance to me)
is to reach into cupboards, closets, drawers, chests and shelves with the sole purpose of
reducing their contents by at least half.
Maybe for your own unique life balance the 'too much' that needs culling are tasks or socializing online or in town.
Everything can be explored.
2. Get Moving!!!
During the last half of my pregnancy, I had the instinctual sense to stop exercising as I once had, even beyond the cautionary recommendation of "no heart rate above 140" - my body told me nightly walks were the height of exertion: I listened, and when I look at my boy I am glad for that.
After the doctor gave me the green light to exercise again, I dove in with abandon (except for abs)
and honestly I relish every drop of salty sweat that miniature Jillian Michaels bosses out of me from her tiny home in the DVD.
Sometimes our physical lethargy is a necessity, sometimes it is a choice: if it's a choice then take an evening and get on a machine, run into the hills, afro-belly-boogie until you drop and see if you don't feel a tad more like your feet are connected to the earth.
3. Give What you Want to Receive
Want more love? Love more! Want monetary abundance? Volunteer your services for those in need!
Want peace? Bring calm into your actions and interactions.
It sounds so simple but it can be utterly challenging to be present.
The benefits, though, are astounding and well worth the attention and intention.
When I feel blue and morose, a few gratitude lists throughout the day can make the biggest difference:
it sounds silly, but it keeps you accountable for your blessings
and we all have something for which we can be grateful.
What are your blessings?
5. Fumble Around
I allow myself bad days, lost days that are simply mine in which to grump, fuss
and gnash my teeth - the permission seems to lessen the need to fall deeper into despair.
Go ahead: call in sick, get in your sweats and throw yourself a pity party for one: a good cry can be just what the doctor ordered. "Tears are a river that carry you somewhere" are the wise words I read in a book after a particularly hard year and I loved that image: we are never stuck in an emotion unless we fear it or fend it off with the dull stick of procrastination.
Meet your sadness, your fear or your unrequited love where it lives: you might find that once you do it will take your hand and let you guide it up and out.
6. Change your Focus
If something is frustrating or limiting you in some way, do something else for a while:
answers tend to come when the mental gaze is allowed to wander
from its dog house:
"the watched pot never boils" can also apply to career success, the acquisition of wealth and the magnetism of love.
Go out, get lost in a field somewhere
throw a ball
see a good movie
call your mom
remember that there are lots of good things in life once you remove your blinders.
(This one is particularly hard for me to do, but when I unplug from my obsession, man oh man does the tide turn!)
So there you have it: my puzzle pieces for righting the capsizing ship.
What works for you when things look bleak?