You've been busy discovering your feet
your vocal range up near 'dog whistle'
and putting your fingers in my mouth while I talk, smiling in recognition that you've found the source of tender words.
Rice cereal mixed with my milk is your evening meal now because you watched every spoon and forkful of food that we ate with wonder and did I detect a hint of woe?
The very first feeding you were in looooove with cereal, in love with being spoon fed.
I have begun to imagine there is a world beyond breastfeeding, though the very thought of not feeding you mainly from my body aches my heart.
Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, shall we? I'll follow your lead.
Diaper changes still delight you to the marrow; I am amazed to watch you
growing out of the 'foldover' section of cloth nappies:
when did you get so big, my Sweet?
You are gentle and kind and intuitive
your little eyes well up with tears when I sing to you, most often when the words are so sweet and my voice lands like a red bird on a branch;
you are an old soul - I know it when that happens, when my love for you in song moves you even this young.
When anyone comes to visit or when we're out you might often hear yourself described using the words
'calm'
'happy'
'well-fed'
and that makes my chest feathers puff out with pride:
I do my very best to take exquisite care of you.
I've never found anything more precious on this earth than every breath you take!
You are teething, chewing my knuckles and your blankets and seemingly everything but the toys we bought for...teething!
When you are very tired you act out the theatre masks of comedy and tragedy within five seconds of each other,
tears to laughter encore after encore
until I rock you and shush you to sleep.
This process is very funny, though half of the time it isn't for you!
I feel like you've been here forever-
your papa and I have found our footing and a routine that works well for all three of us and Janey
but every so often I catch myself touching my tiny belly pooch
as if expecting
This roundness to be there
as though I am still awaiting your arrival....
I know I say this so much
both out loud and in silent reflection
but
thank you, Orion Henry.
Thank you for choosing us to be your earthly guardians:
your soul pleases us so
very very much.
With More Love Than Could be Fathomed,
Mama
