The world will not eat you alive if you are vulnerable: it may smell your fear and chase that trail
but it will not vanquish an open heart.
Love destroys petty fuckery even if you cannot see the battle.
Try it: spend a lifetime pitting your spite against it, your smallness: these things will never slake a thirst.
They need hate and competition to thrive -it's love that forces the surrender by starvation. It then gathers the opposing side in its massive arms and turns them into lovers.
This weekend something beautiful happened: I'll give you the Cliff Notes version:
I understood (after attempting to reconstruct the previous for months) that there is no arrival point in this postpartum world
just a requirement that I be as brave as possible and open to the shifting landscape without trying to stop the car.
A dear beloved girlfriend came down from San Francisco to visit today. She had spent the better part of three months globe-trotting; India, Guatemala, Mexico, Costa Rico. She spoke of her travels and noted that
traveling alone requires you to use all your intuition, all your senses working at full throttle.
'Yes', I nodded in strange understanding.
This place I am in right now feels foreign and distant and exotic
though I may never even leave my home to go there.
Every mother I talk to affirms the huge shift that takes place after the arrival of a new life so dependent and always changing - 'new normal' is the phrase so often used.
Instead of clinging to the old and deceased way of living that died with my placenta
I am opening again
to the ever-changing now
understanding that today's joy may be tomorrow's confusion
or sorrow or something else
and yet it's all ripe
and abundant and alive
A bit of a magic carpet ride...
can you imagine what riches we'd know if we opened to all of the places inside with the wonder of a traveler
With the open heart of a lover?