Torn Wing and Labradorite Magic Spell Necklace
Something so soul-good happened last night.
Five years ago it wouldn't have been joyful; what I saw would have reduced me to feeling inadequate.
I would have been waving from the seashore at the 'boat to China' as I would tearfully call it.
Sara Bareilles is a singer who I used to do voiceovers with in Los Angeles
before we moved, before I was even married.
My sister-friend Terra was the reason we met when she recruited us both
to be backup for a song that Will Ferrel was joke-singing at the ESPY awards.
We lived close to each other so we shared our hired car to rehearsal and the event.
We got along beautifully - she was (and I imagine still is) a really great girl.
We exchanged our little independently made CDs. She gave me a plant (which still thrives these six years later!) and in the coming months we three singers had such a good time making tracks for commercials at a beautiful little studio in Venice.
Her career is no surprise and quite a thrill - when 'Love Song' was a big hit I smiled every time I heard that great heavy-bottomed piano intro, but behind the joy was a nagging sadness, a reminder. I had not yet owned my life, I hadn't found the rock of purpose to ground me.
The success of others was somewhat painful for me: even though I had just set out to create SunnyRising I didn't know if it would go anywhere or if I would be happy without having music as my first focus.
When anyone I knew reached a certain level of acclaim I would imagine them as international travelers leaving port and me with a handkerchief waving them off from The Ordinary Shore, sad and missing out on something.
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Fast forward to last night - while I was getting ready to turn in I caught a video of Taylor Swift and Sara singing her new song 'Brave'. I watched it beaming and then set about getting ready for bed.
There was no thought behind the thought this time.
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I brushed my teeth, checked the doors, checked to make sure the torch and pickle pot were in their off positions.
I climbed into bed and heard the peepers through the open window
and the breathing of my boys on both sides like some sort of heavenly stereo.
I snuggled under the covers and imagined what tomorrow might bring,
what needed tending most and what projects would see completion.
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I thought about my previous iteration, so not-yet-found in her center
but striving and trying to be better and trusting that someday
life would be so rounded and nourishing that comparison would not be between
herself and her peers but instead between moments of living that no one else could claim to know.
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As sleep made thoughts hazy I smiled and kissed Anthony's shoulder.
His hand reached out for mine and our fingers entwined, warm and familiar.
There is nothing more I want out of my work than to do it.
There is nothing more I want out of my people than to love them.
There is no greater joy than to breathe in and breathe out and give life my all.
There is no other life, no other woman's experience that I would trade for this that I call Mine.
I don't know when this happened, this shift
but I've built a home on The Ordinary Shore
and everything is in its right place,
even the boats that sail out to sea without me.
When did you realize your life was extra-ordinary, friends? Have you yet? I'd love to share thoughts.
These Magic Spell beauties will be in the Metal Shop Friday.
For reserves, contact me