Torn Wing and Labradorite Magic Spell Necklace
Something so soul-good happened last night.
Five years ago it wouldn't have been joyful; what I saw would have reduced me to feeling inadequate.
I would have been waving from the seashore at the 'boat to China' as I would tearfully call it.
Sara Bareilles is a singer who I used to do voiceovers with in Los Angeles
before we moved, before I was even married.
My sister-friend Terra was the reason we met when she recruited us both
to be backup for a song that Will Ferrel was joke-singing at the ESPY awards.
We lived close to each other so we shared our hired car to rehearsal and the event.
We got along beautifully - she was (and I imagine still is) a really great girl.
We exchanged our little independently made CDs. She gave me a plant (which still thrives these six years later!) and in the coming months we three singers had such a good time making tracks for commercials at a beautiful little studio in Venice.
Her career is no surprise and quite a thrill - when 'Love Song' was a big hit I smiled every time I heard that great heavy-bottomed piano intro, but behind the joy was a nagging sadness, a reminder. I had not yet owned my life, I hadn't found the rock of purpose to ground me.
The success of others was somewhat painful for me: even though I had just set out to create SunnyRising I didn't know if it would go anywhere or if I would be happy without having music as my first focus.
When anyone I knew reached a certain level of acclaim I would imagine them as international travelers leaving port and me with a handkerchief waving them off from The Ordinary Shore, sad and missing out on something.
Gem Chrysoprase Magic Spell Earrings
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Fast forward to last night - while I was getting ready to turn in I caught a video of Taylor Swift and Sara singing her new song 'Brave'. I watched it beaming and then set about getting ready for bed.
There was no thought behind the thought this time.
Coastal Lichen Delicate Earrings with Vintage Repurposed Coral
I brushed my teeth, checked the doors, checked to make sure the torch and pickle pot were in their off positions.
I climbed into bed and heard the peepers through the open window
and the breathing of my boys on both sides like some sort of heavenly stereo.
I snuggled under the covers and imagined what tomorrow might bring,
what needed tending most and what projects would see completion.
Turquoise Magic Spell Earrings
I thought about my previous iteration, so not-yet-found in her center
but striving and trying to be better and trusting that someday
life would be so rounded and nourishing that comparison would not be between
herself and her peers but instead between moments of living that no one else could claim to know.
Mexican Fire Opal Petal Magic Spell Earrings
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As sleep made thoughts hazy I smiled and kissed Anthony's shoulder.
His hand reached out for mine and our fingers entwined, warm and familiar.
There is nothing more I want out of my work than to do it.
There is nothing more I want out of my people than to love them.
There is no greater joy than to breathe in and breathe out and give life my all.
There is no other life, no other woman's experience that I would trade for this that I call Mine.
I don't know when this happened, this shift
but I've built a home on The Ordinary Shore
and everything is in its right place,
even the boats that sail out to sea without me.
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When did you realize your life was extra-ordinary, friends? Have you yet? I'd love to share thoughts.
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These Magic Spell beauties will be in the Metal Shop Friday.
For reserves, contact me
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xoxo,
Sunny
8 comments:
Oh, my very dear one. Your voice has
and will make itself known in so many more ways than any singer-songwriter could possibly hope or dream (save a very few). And you know that I value that art as much or more than most.
What you have given the world will last beyond our lifetimes. And what you have now is so much more concrete. So glad you are feeling it surround you with its soft, strong wings.
your life is so very meant-to-be. as it is.
xx
Sybil, this was so tender on my tired-at-the-end-of-the-day heart that I cried. I adore you. Xoxo
As are all of our lives, truly! Xoxo
Still working on embracing the "ordinary" without that tiny (yet familiar) twinge of regret that seems to trail my decisions...(that pesky inner voice softly reminding me that I could have done better, different, other!)
Regardless, I loved this post. It's making me think...in the best possible way.
As always, thank you for that ;)
Your life is not lived on Ordinary Shore. Not nearly. You are so remarkably talented, gifted and beautiful. Thank you for sharing *you* with us.
xx
I opened up your blog today because I have been thinking about you and your work and realized I needed to pass along the encouragement I have felt.
I am currently in process of making some big scary decisions in my life, good and exciting changes but a little overwhelming as well. Every morning I reach for my copper Hawaiian fern earrings. I am drawn to them because of you and the powerful woman that I see when I read your words. I want a little of that courage in my days right now and so I place them in my ears every morning and stand a little taller.
-becky
Hot damn, you DID have a productive day. I tell you, there's nothing like a momma given a few hours to GETSHITDONE.
Um, too bad everything is gone. I'm dying over here. Well done!
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