To You, Beautiful Dreamer.

For you, the one who has not been broken by life -

bent, to be certain

challenged 

 a little bruised, perhaps

but not broken

by a long shot

.

You beautiful woman. Brilliant and tired. You keep rising with the morning sun

and doing it all again, things that feel rote and sacred

and necessary

.

I see you with that look in your eye, the faraway one

that means you're building worlds

out of wisps

sturdy as all hell

despite the delicate structure

and gentle though you may be when you're sweet

you lead warriors with your fierce heart

.

I cannot stop cradling this beautiful valentine to you

with its precious cut of fire agate 

and drops of carnelian blood

I want to tell you all about this little curled dreamer I've hammer engraved and 

carved out of the metal (hours and hours of precise intuitive work), leaving a pile of stardust under my feet.

She is happy in her vulnerable warm sleep.

She is tucked into a frond of jacaranda.

. 

I made this honoring piece

because I am so proud of you

because I want to leave you with all my gratitude threaded through the molecules of sterling

and stone

to say 'thank you'

for continuing to grow and dream

in an impartial

world that 

breaks so many

to bits

.

In the 

Metal Shop

.

xoxo,

Sunny

Sweet Littles

Sweet Little Bee Wings in Sterling

Sweet Chalcedony and Feather Shoulder Dusters in Sterling

Hammer-formed Jacaranda Seeds in Large 

Sweet Little Oak Leaves. Handpicked by my son.

Sweet Little Jacaranda Seeds, Smallest Size.

Sweet Little Hydrangea Blossoms in Sterling

Hammer Formed Jacaranda Seeds in Medium-Large

Delicate sweet littles are whispering their way into the 

Metal Shop

this 

evening.

May it be a beautiful one for you.

xoxoxo,

Sunny

Black Thumb

I guess I never thought I'd have a garden

.

because I froze the very roots of everything I tried to grow when I was younger

and rotted so many plants dead that I gave up hope I'd ever get the sense of what they needed

enough to give them a fighting chance....

Thank God for pothos plants

and for succulents -

they are so forgiving of hands both heavy and light

that I found the faith I needed to dare drop seeds in the ground

.

and as I watch these beets and cucumbers and tomato plants thrive

under my care 

as I pluck the Leaf Miner egg cases off of the greens

like a nurse

as I work and breathe in the wet soil 

I smile to myself

remembering that 

I thought I'd never have a garden

.

If you had asked me when I was 28 I'd have told you I would not have a child.

I sat my mother-in-love down and told her so to break her heart quickly and be done with it.

To burn the wound clean and clarify.

I sure did like my friends' kids.

I had great memories of being a kid

but

motherhood was not in the cards for me,

black thumb-bearer

musician

and maker of things

.

I had found my happiness.

I had staked out my claim and my future was a wide and clear desert sky

with no tethers beside loving a man who understood my need to take off 

and go, with or without him at any time I needed to.

I did not need to bring a soul into this broken world to know its pain

or maybe to help heal it

I didn't have any desire to have my heart pulled wide and spilled out daily

to wander through a crowd wondering whose neck I'd need to sink my teeth into lest they harm my child

to be played like a cello

the most bittersweet song of pulsing life and imminent death

thrumming and aching through my cells every single second

like shut this thing off / oh no please don't touch the dial

I've never heard music like this before

It's so beautiful

and it hurts too much to bear

 people ask me why I am not writing songs anymore....

could anyone pick a melody out of this racket?

I'm hearing choirs of angels right along with 

cranking rhythm guitar and marching-band-bass-drums

every second of every waking moment.

Jesus.

Can I have a moment?

Some asshat at the back of the house would say "When he's 18!"

if I was on stage

and I would throw a tomato at them

in like a month when they're ripe

because I don't like that old schtick any more than all the mothers ever

.

There was just this day where suddenly I did want a child

with everything that whole shebang entailed

and so it was.

And it was and it was and it was

Until

Here he is now, not at all a baby anymore.

Capable of amazing conversation

if you're into trains, steam engines of all sorts, chocolate graham crackers, planes,

sparkling lights and tractors.

Counting to ten.

Kissing my arms.

Funny as all hell.

Perfectly selfish.

Learning manners.

Reluctantly sharing.

Rushing to be held.

Scaling medium heights.

Blowing my ever-loving mind daily.

Being my reason

.

I think it's important that we decide how things will be

as much as we want to 

with the understanding that it will not be so neat,

that life itself is so burly and overgrown

it practically muffles the perfect math of our plans

.

Standing in my yard looking at knee-high tete noir cabbage 

with my son I am both hugely grateful and tortured,

trying hard to let the gentle hush of the palm fronds

and the sweet jibber-jabber of a two-year-old 

go. 

Trying not to put the setting vanilla sun in a jar just so I can open it later

when there are other places he'll want to be.

Attempting to let the sweetness pass into chaos

trusting as we must

that all is as it will be

despite our plans, 

gardening

and 

otherwise

.

xoxoxo,

Sunny

Don't Waste It

Bone and Feather Earrings. Sterling Silver. Sculpted sterling bones.Gemstone and Shell Beads.

Wee Brass Petal Earrings. Handmade Sterling Ear Wire. Sterling Rivet.

Adjustable Sterling Silver Bone Ring, 6.5

Fixed Sterling Silver Bone Ring. Size 8.25

Bone Flower Earrings. Asymmetrical. American turquoise. Sculpted Sterling Bones.

Medium Bone Posts. Sculpted Sterling Silver.

Mini Bone Posts. Sculpted Sterling Silver.

Long Bone Posts. Sculpted Sterling Silver.

Bone Collector Royston Ring. Size 9

Two of a kind flower posts: petal and bloom. Sterling Silver.

This series is all about bones (with a few flowers thrown in because I cannot resist them), all about this one unique shot at life in this body.

This series is about grabbing every second that you can, about not lingering anywhere you don't want to linger for longer than you must.

Don't waste this breath or the next, neither of which were ever guaranteed to you,

both of which are total and complete miracles in which a complex system of chemicals and 

circumstances that have allowed life to exist, fragile and rare

.

There are so many bossy things I wanted to write to you, to myself.... but none of them could find their way out of my fingers with words

so

I built bones.

I built them out of sterling sheet and wire.

I sculpted them carefully and lovingly, each one taking on a life of its own,

asking a generous amount of time to be formed.

They are fierce reminders of the fact that we will certainly die,

one of a few absolute truths as a biological creature.

We are born and we die, two bookends of a life

both bookended themselves by an utterly exquisite and terrifying mystery

people die to defend

and no one could ever define while in a body

.

So, here we are on earth with ten million myriad choices every day

in community and solitude

in love and war

.

I hope every time you see these little bones you ask yourself these questions:

Are your moments serving you?

Are you serving them?

Are you giving with your whole heart?

Are you cultivating the finest things you can in yourselves and others?

 Make the answers 'yes'

please

and it will touch something

make something better

for someone:

what more can we do, what better thing can we do?

.

Open your eyes

breath in this fine air

and live the fuck out of this life

while it rests in your palm

like a tiny spark

that has known darkness

and will know it again

like an old friend

.

The Bone Series will be in the 

Metal Shop tomorrow

.

xoxo,

Sunny

P.S. - I guess I did find the bossy words.