Friday, July 25, 2014

Hot Hot Heat


Fire and Ice Earrings. Pepper Tree Flower. Carnelian Pyramid. Brass Comet Tail.






Royalty. Amethyst Studs.



Black Eyed Susans Magic Spell Earrings. Clean Shoulders. Ocean Jasper, pink and mustard. 
Black Eyed Susan petals from my Mother's garden.





Heart of the Wish Earrings. Snakeskin imprint (naturally shed). Cicada wing. Kabamba Ocean Jasper. 
Brass wishbone.





Magic spells three and the most luscious simple amethyst studs.
Figures that the day I pour out my gratitude for summer heat
the thermostat is at 94 in San Jose.

Bask.

This is nourishing, too.

Trickling in like water down your glass



xoxoxo,
Sunny

Thursday, July 24, 2014

IN IT.


Back when I was six months postpartum Anthony and I did this series called "Insanity"
in an attempt to find balance with our bodies and bond a bit after he came home from work:
we were essentially captives of a six-day-a-week program that was so balls-to-the-wall
it was….insane.
Hence the name.
Right.


On the DVDs the instructor would go around and talk to the participants
and ask them questions and they would breathlessly answer
or grunt


and every once in a while he'd turn to the camera and be like, "Do you see her face?

 She's IN IT."


'Her' face would be slightly zen, absolutely badass
and totally committed to the task at hand,
getting through this cardio onslaught 
on camera.


Well, friend -
I am IN IT right now. 

"It" being life.

I am laser-beam precision
at the fine art of living the fuck out of the day
while balancing all of the bits
and doing it with love sweet love
and an awareness that time is the only commodity that matters a lick to me.

Money, schmoney.
Beauty, schmooty.
I want to hold the slightly sticky hand of my son and go on an adventure walk.
I want to make delicate and beautiful things in my shining studio.
I want to talk to my people because they lift my spirit and guard my heart.
I want to scratch a furry chin, be it Schmilly's or a cat's.
I want to lift and squat the heaviest weight I safely can in the musty musky gym
with my headphones on blasting Salt-n'-Peppa.
SHOOP.
I want to drink iced tea on the back stoop at 8 pm totally exhausted
because my day got my all.
Because I am IN IT.


So I do.
Some days I get so tired I deflate by three p.m.
and Orion comes over to my boneless form on the couch and kisses my cheek loudly
and fusses around me gently before it devolves into painful gymnastics
with my limbs as the jungle gym
.


When I get impatient and fussy enough to rival any toddler I look at those in my care
and observe that moment from their perspective: there is no rush,
no place for them to be. They are exquisitely present
and it softens the hard parts in me and we go on.

Rinse and repeat. All day, every day.
It's such an exercise in cultivating grace.
.


I like to think that if Shaun T. came to my house on any given day
when I am wearing all the hats and juggling an entire fruit trees' worth of oranges
that he'd turn to the camera (of course there would be a camera, silly!)
and he'd get all serious and intense and say, "Do you see her face???
Do you see that dedication????


This woman is 


IN IT."


xoxoxo,
Sunny


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Pendulum



If you watch my feed over


on Instagram

you can see that the age-old pendulum that swings so widely 
between metals/stones and leather
has decidedly gone toward the latter.

I am going to have a shop update


either Friday or Monday depending on what 
I get done when.

I've got a fever and the only cure is more
cow.....hide.

xoxoxox,
Sunny

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Working from a Tender Place.


Durga Earrings. Hammered Brass. Sterling and Fine Silver. Chrysoprase. Ocean Jasper.




The Stuff of Stars Earrings. Quartz Shard. Hydrangea. Star. Comet Tails.




To the Moon Necklace. Sugar-fired enamel and watercolor on copper. Sterling and fine silvers. Brass comet tails. Chrysoprase faceted rondelles. Bee Wings. Bone Toggle.






I think when we feel lost
the veil might be the very thinnest it can be 
while we ride in these clunky bodies.

If we surrender that lostness with love
the way opens so beautifully:
not without pain, that's not the point,
I used to think that's the point - the place of painlessness.
That's not a human life.
That's the self-help section at Barnes and Noble.

I worked with an aching heart this week,
these last few weeks
and surrendered daily to the uncomfortable place
with as little dramatics as I could.

The result was such an intense focus
and such good solid workmanship.
My head flitted nowhere
on account of the tenderness in my chest
and it all grounded down through my hands into the metal
and it was so so so good.

I am incredibly happy to offer this work
.
It feels so full of healing
.
It was created so prayerfully
.
When everything else felt like fumbling
these strong bonds tethered everything right back up.

*****

These four pieces will be in the


tonight.

xoxox,
Sunny



Sunday, July 6, 2014

Light, Tunnel, Etc.


Schmilly has been working hard: six-days-a-week hard.
Twelve-plus-hours-a-day hard.
Ridiculous-commute hard.

Thus I have been working hard, too.
Mothering.
SunnyRising-ing.
Cooking.
Lifting weights.
Cleaning.
Smurfing very VERY hard, my little Smurfs.


We are both ringed in grey but every day we get up lucky.
We go to bed lucky.
We show up and man/woman up even if we're bleary-eyed with coffee iv drips.
We've got grit and grit'll polish you right shiny, I trust this.

I recall work 'sprints' or 'crunches' that Anthony had through our eight-plus years together
and I remember more bickering and short fuses... it's so amazing how having a child
and parenting them just entails sacrifice so constantly that you cease to think of it at all,
and some things like the energy for arguing and making-up are funneled into care and teamwork
in a really powerful way.

We are more gentle
and understanding
and things are funnier 
and the jokes are older
and that man just keeps getting more handsome with the passing years
so really, how could I help but flirt and cradle?



We know that the game he's working on is coming into a new phase soon-ish, one that means
the weekends will eventually once again be our own 
and there is a light at the end of the schedule-tunnel.

I remember when I was still a receptionist wishing and praying for so much more
someone wise told me that if I wanted to let something go, I had to love it first.

I did that. I treated guests like queens and fellow employees with love.
I appreciated the free coffee and internet access.
I answered the phones like every caller was my own mama.
I faked it until I made it if I had to:
Eventually I truly cared.



So about a month ago when the pressure and stress of wearing all these rad hats became so intense that I thought it might crush my spirit
 I blessedly remembered those sage words of advice.

I have allowed myself to be less of a diligent friend. Lovingly.
Emails take longer.
I have permitted myself to sit still more with O, less inclined to romp and please in this time of energy depletion.
I have, as always, gone to the studio and found it to be a balm. That never changes.



My expectations are more realistic in terms of what there is time for
and how to breathe into the hours differently 
so that they feel more rich with possibility
and when I'm like, "Fuck it" 
I call my mom
and she tells me wonderful things
and makes my frailties feel less brittle.


I've counted my blessings and they are many.
I've said secret prayers for the drivers with whom I share the road, even (and maybe especially) the ones who put others at risk in their haste.
The house is less tidy.
The garden is a place where weeds have longer occupancy: you're welcome, dandelions.
The car is looking like we live in Death Valley, all caked with dust.
All loved, all of these things.



When life goes back to having more room for wiggling
I hope to look back on this time and think fondly
about how much was let go
in favor of sanity and care.

That I sat on the old bench in the back yard with O around sunset
and caught the bubbles he blew instead of dusting the Havisham cobwebs from the mud room.
That I asked for help when I needed it
and was loved enough to receive.
That I came down hard on nothing
and let the fire get a little low:
you can do that in the summer
and the sun'll take up the slack.
That I had the tattoo consultation.

Every morning's sunrise
can be the light at the end of the tunnel
you're still slogging through
when you love that long dark dank 
place enough to know
it has a gift for you
even if you cannot hold it yet...
just love it
in a real and true way
and feel the resistance
fade

.

xoxo,
Sunny

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Comfort


Mixed Metal Comfort Earrings




Sterling Silver Comfort Earrings





Seed Pod Comfort Earrings





Bone Series Bracelet with Fire Agate




I came to my bench the other night the way some arrive at a church,
just there to pray and thank and receive 

to offer all of the gratitude this beautiful life is worthy of
and weep a little for feeling lost.

As I sat with my sketchbook this wonderful little set of doodles kept cycling,
these little spiky/soft earrings
with multiple layers and 
delicate symbols
growing out of their middles
like a language
.

As I hammered quietly and worked the ideas into life
such a warmth and peace came over me,
like every little bit was soothing
and humming
and comforting me
.

I have not yet nor do I ever expect to have something like this happen to me,
to have arrived in studio to fabricate as a means of wrapping myself in what I know
having come from the outside world that felt too new and raw
and having the pieces born of that look like alien text
that so clearly reads as both protective and loving
.

I worked long and late.
I made a few pairs for you, too.
I hope they bring you comfort
when you need it most...
little shields
little paddles to the sea
little lilting voices
singing you home.



xoxo,
Sunny