Wednesday, March 28, 2012

.


Some days
I am little more than a milk factory
and a professional baby-starer-atter (for lack of a better phrase simply because goodGodthisboyissobeautiful)


All of my clothing choices are glorified pajamas
.
I am in a fog of sleepiness, trying so desperately to be present
because the only unanimous advice I've received is that "it all goes so fast: enjoy every moment!"
.
.
.

Never before the birth of my son have I been so deeply aware of my boundaries, so profoundly aware that I am being asked - no - implored to grow past my comfort into my potential everyday greatness,
into the Bigger parts of me using limited resources of frayed nerves
and too little rest...
It's kind of like being asked to make a lovely wedding cake
at the 11th hour missing a few key ingredients but you
pull it off
.
.
well,
.
most days you do
and when you don't, there's grace and forgiveness
and phone calls to your mama friends who know.
.


So I breathe in the smell of spilled milk
and Burt's Bees diaper ointment (most assuredly the combined perfume of the era I find myself in)
type with one hand,
staring at wee O as he nods off in the crook of my arm.

When he is fast asleep and tucked into his tiny chair
I pour myself a rootbeer float-
ahhhhhhh.

I find a half-hour window opening
and into the studio I go,
tooling some of the leather work I will be revealing next week
on the theme of winged hearts and feathers...
a coup, truly.


What are your senses gathering where you are?


What gifts did this day give you with its generous heart?
What did it ask of you?

xoxo,
S

14 comments:

Jaime said...

One of my good girlfriends had a baby early this morning - her first. So my day started with a text message picture of a beautiful new baby girl!
What a wonderful way to wake up :-)

And can I just say, I haven't had the craving for a root beer float since I was about 12, and I think that streak may be broken this evening after seeing this post!
xoxoxo

Sunny Rising Leather said...

Jaime!! So beyond lovely to see you here! Congrats to your friend - motherhood is amazing :) I deeply encourage a root beer float my friend - cheers and clink clink :) xoxo

mairedodd said...

you are doing exactly what you need to do... hope you are napping - the sleep deprivation is tough... but remember (!) it's all temporary... behaviors, patterns, needs may change and evolve - but you will always be needed... just enjoy yourself and your beautiful family and those root beer floats!
life in all its beauty asked me to be vulnerable and trusting today - i did my very best...
want to see what mamas sometimes get to do for their 20yr. old babies? http://www.flickr.com/photos/mairedodd/7021722349/in/photostream
with a fatigue born of taxi-ing and midnight 'hunger games' openings, we had a hair day - cut, bleach, color...
the fun has just started, a -

Melissa Meman said...

I can smell the baby smell, just by looking at those tiny feet! I remember those! The ones in my memory are now 10 and don't smell quite as nice :)

Sunny Rising Leather said...

Melissa, this made me chuckle deeply - I will inhale these little toes while I can :) xoxo

Sunny Rising Leather said...

Dearest Mary Jane - the evolution is blowing my mind - it's been a month tomorrow since he came into our lives and I marvel at the growth!! You make me so excited about motherhood - I love your words, your sharing. Xoxo

Sybil Ann said...

My reno is going far better than I ever hoped and the bad boyfriend asked me out again. :)

Cat said...

yummy yummy A!
take good care of yourself mama
it is so important
from the look on little O's face he is one happy content little man
this is a precious time
boundaries are key and really all part of of the growing as a parent
amazing how every step is designed for the bigger picture
I think about you often friend and send you love and light from the north
wisdom from the old crone
comfort from the woman of the wood
and the knowing that many stand with you
staff in hand

love and light

Cat said...

ps I asked for today to be filled with brightness of Light
I asked for the strength to be all that I could be...
I was given that and much more
it has been a month of many journeys
so much learnt
so much given

just thought I would answer your question
: )

love and light

Jaime said...

Sunny I can only imagine how amazing it truly is. I long to feel that! One day I hope.
Tomorrow's plans? Rootbeer float!

Sandra Dunn said...

He's definitely beautiful!

And the rootbeer float - Virgil's is THE BEST in the world to start with!! yum!

Debbie D. said...

I am across the continent from you, but so enjoy reading your words, seeing your pics, drooling over your handywork. When I sit down with my coffee in the morning, open my computer, I click on your site, hoping for a new post. And now with your new addition, who is the very image of beauty and peacefulness, the posts are even more so anticipated. I consider your blog a gift to each of us, your readers.... thank you!

Candace Morris said...

So proud to know you, and certainly quite proud OF you. For even in your state of mother-otherness, you have been granted and accepted the wherewithall to STILL suck the marrow out of your life's experiences. xx

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful series of blog posts since your son was born. Just amazing and moving. Congratulations!

http://edwardshayslett.wordpress.com/