Saturday, March 10, 2012

My Body...

...Has a squishy deflated middle
Like a waterbed half-emptied
...Doesn't know quite what to do with its new twin milk machines
and over-abundant in supply
...Is halfway between its former glory and its just-recently-ripened shape;
kind of destroyed, like a seed pod after its purpose has been served
a husk with an imminent rebirth of its own
inching ever closer to fine
...Is new to me
...killed it in the delivery room; I have never imagined a more strenuous, powerful marathon
of muscle and mind
nor a more capable vehicle than this one
to reach the other shore
where I scooped my son into my arms and wept with love
...Is so not afraid anymore
...Can and will 
...Has character wit and warmth
charm and fecundity
surrender and room.


What of your body, friends?




mairedodd said...

yes, that is exactly how you feel after birthing!
the body is an amazing organism - the fact that you can grow a baby and then supply his nutritional needs to allow him to thrive - is a beautiful thing...
you need to treat yourself kindly and with great love... but you know that... you who know of intention and energy... what you used to think of channeling into leather and metal now channels into the one who makes your heart nearly burst...
the older i get, the more i seem to value my body as the physical part of me that allows the cognitive and spiritual parts to blossom... i am not so hard on it to be 'perfect', but rather to be healthy... so that i can be here for my kids for a long, long time...

Sunny Rising Leather said...

It is a carrier for your heart and spirit, indeed Mary Jane...both of which are priceless :)

NancyH said...

love it. i really hope for all mothers that they feel that empowered in birth.. that their body is so incredible and strong.

really for all people to have that understanding of the things their body is capable of, and to be able to be *friends* with it. birth is such a special example of that.

Congratulations to you and your family :)

Brooke said...

Well, at almost 25 weeks pregnant, my body feels as rich and round and happy as a perfectly ripe avocado. It feels great and I'm being nice to it with flannel sheets, scented belly balm, lots of water, and soft stretchy clothing.

Sunny Rising Leather said...

Nancy, indeed the idea of being friends with the body is such a lovely is such a miracle!!

Sunny Rising Leather said...

This made me smile so big, Brooke - you are at that wonderful place where you can see so much progress... People told me I would get so tired of carrying the babe toward the end, that I would be uncomfortable - know that it doesn't have to be the case - we stretch to fit the miracle :) xoxo

Anonymous said...

this gives me hope. i spent a very long time struggling with an eating disorder and am only now maybe becoming okay with my body, feeling okay in my own skin. and now, i am getting married - and the thought of having a child, while it delights me, is terrifying. to think of what the process will change in my body makes those terrible, strong feelings come back - and i am afraid of that "squishy" waterbed part, among other things. i think i need to keep reading this, and hopefully, i will not be afraid, some day soon.

Sunny Rising Leather said...

I am so touched by your comment; it is my greatest wish for you to have peace being in your skin. There is something about birthing a child that seems to quiet critical voices- I know a disease goes far beyond that - may you have support and love all around. Xoxo

Kelly Z. said...

Oh so well put, as always;) it has been over 6 amazing years since last I, too, experienced the squishy deflation of my middle section...with such wonderment coming from that time it all seems so far away & of course, worth every bit of new and foreign sensations/perceptions of body, heart and mind ..we truly are amazing vessels...sending you rays of sun and dreamy naps throughout your day;) so happy for you!

Mariann Monika said...

Mine is halfway through baking a little bub!!
And is being very kind to me!

My only wish is to have your strength when it comes time to meet the sweet little one...


P.S. Your little boy is absolutely adorable!

jordan said...

oh of the BEST things about becoming a mama (apart from the little human you made) is being so aware that your body is a powerhouse. It has given me such an appreciation for myself and has definitely improved my self image (though i'm lucky to say that I didn't have a bad one to start with). It's pretty mind blowing that we can grow a human INSIDE OUR BODIES, bring them forth into the world WITH OUR BODIES and then nourish them with ONLY OUR BODIES for several months of their life....I mean, if that's not a superpower, I do not know the meaning of the word.

love you.

Corinna said...

You are glorious!! xo