Friday, October 11, 2013


Labradorite and feather Magic Spell Earrings 

This week I worked breathing through the weight of sorrow.
It informed all of my choices: they became medicine.
All the metals, all the stones, all the meticulous knitting of elements
were healing things.

Seven days ago I was packing to see my Redlands crew, my heart was fluttering with anticipation
for the wedding singing and the drinking and the catching up.

We flew down and drove to meet our family.

When Matt and I tucked ourselves away in his kitchen to learn the song Chad had requested of him
as soon as we began singing it hit: the rightness of it, the perfect sense of our kids babbling semi-coherently in the other room, the sound of Irene and Anthony laughing and comparing notes on parenting experiences, the peanut-butter-and-jellyness of our harmonies that have always been so ...meant.

Our time with Jessi and Phil, staying up late talking for hours with these kindred hearts...
the wedding itself, the whole musical family there, singing for the bride and groom...
I could go on. It all felt like a balm.

These are the friendships that have stood the test of time, seen us through the hungry twenties
into parenting and responsibilities and laughing at our new wrinkles and guts.

These are my faraway hearts I pine for, our people.
Orion cried for a long time on the flight home, his first time crying on a plane.
I cried, too.

Jacaranda Heart Pillow Necklace 

I've been like a slow leak since then, trying hard to be with the discomfort as it comes
and letting it pass when it's over.
I keep wondering if it would be different if we had left Los Angeles by our own volition
but I assume it would be the same, the same ache.

An ex boyfriend once said to me, "You live in the sweetest saddest part of my heart"
and I wonder at the poetry of that phrase...
it implies so much goodness and care.

That's how I feel when I think of the alternate universe in which Matt and I went on to sing
with great frequency and renown.

In that world we were touring with our friends
and maybe even making some coin for our family.

Maybe we argued more, maybe he finally did kick the window out of our touring minivan.
Maybe it was harder on that parallel path.

The thing that is so awesome about the whole situation is that I returned north to this beautiful full life
that I love. I returned hand in hand with Schmilly
pushing our toddler son, meeting our kitten trinity at the door of our beloved home.

I know the sorrow is a gift, a reminder to call more often, to get down and make music 
more than every two plus years and I am listening.

I am getting my piano fixed.
I am writing music again.

Twin Fern Earrings with Carnelian and Turquoise 

Every time I feel the discomfort of this torn part I just breathe into it,
I greet it warmly and open as much as humanly possible.

That's where this week's jewels came from: they bubbled up whole from
the stillest waters of my connection with All that Is.

They were music in my hands.
A quiet song.

I will be offering them in the 

later tonight.

Reborn Wing Earrings with Repurposed Vintage Coral, Pink Aventurine and Chrysoprase

I want to share with you a few words about where this wing came from.
There was a day a few months back where I decided to let open my eyes to the potential
for gifts everywhere.

Really live present to possibilities around every corner.

While the baby and Schmilly played I took the hammock outside and as I set it up
there it was: this torn and HUGE wing on the concrete outside our garage.

I do not think carpenter bees even get this big, it remains such a glorious and torn mystery.
It was ravaged and yet somehow whole. Tough. I am so excited to share it with you in this soft and lovely pair of earrings.

If you wish to inquire about any of these
healing spells, please


Listing tonight with love.



Zara Davis said...

I love you! It was so good to see you, hear you, hug you and meet your gorgeous boy! I can't begin to tell you what a presence you are in our home. My children are being raised on your music and your songs have been the back drop for so many wonderful family moments. Car rides across the state, dinners, parties, and quiet nights at home. I adore you! It is such a joy to watch you create such beautiful art and even though you're far away, we think about you all the time and you have a permanent place in our family!!! So much love to you, Anthony, and Orion!

Allisunny S. said...

Love you so!!! Xo