We have been through richer or poorer.
We have been together in sickness and in health
and surely we are here everyday, showing up in all our better and worse moments
and with as much bravery as can be daily mustered
Ah, those words 'For Better or For Worse', encompassing all of it:
for grumpy or for joyful
for quiet of wordy
for comic or tragic
through scorched earth or lushest monsoon
through the moments I most wish I had my own apartment so you didn't see
my worst mood or my shy thighs
my sometime lack of confidence
or misplaced bravado
But then you see me bare
caught in your handsome blue headlights
ashamed of my weakness
and you smile that crooked love-smile
and I remember
that I was wise as the moon when I chose you
that when you come to me
in your own ways (always so authentic)
I find you adorable
and wish you nowhere else but here
with me and my prying eyes
that cherish you whole
You who show me open arms
when I pick a fight before one of us leaves for a long trip
you who calmly say, "It's ok to miss me" and
I come up against the tears behind the bluster.
You keep me honest when I forget myself.
I don't like missing people.
I don't like losing.
I'd rather fisticuffs than longing.
I don't like the feeling of being laid bare,
warts and all
I prefer to sparkle around you, to be my absolute best self
but since that's not always a possibility
it's such a fine feeling
to know that you
see the bedrock of me:
who tries her best
too hard sometimes,
and burns out
again and again
like it's a new continent
"how could this be?"
Thank you for showing me that the betterment lies just beyond
the wall of seeming defeat that hard moments erect.
Thank you for carefully drawing a map of my heart
and remembering that rocky terrain
gives way to the most verdant valleys
if you can just climb with enough faith
forever and ever
'till death do us part
and burned out grass
are the embodiment
of these polar opposite places
we find to love in each other.
In the Metal Shop tonight
along with the sweet small hydrangea posts
I wish you all the most blessed solstice
and the ability to love all the colors
of yourself and your people
and with grace.
Love and then some,