For Better Or Worse Embodied in Brass and Sterling

We have been through richer or poorer.

We have been together in sickness and in health

and surely we are here everyday, showing up in all our better and worse moments

equally

and with as much bravery as can be daily mustered

.

Ah, those words 'For Better or For Worse', encompassing all of it:

for grumpy or for joyful

for quiet of wordy

for comic or tragic

through scorched earth or lushest monsoon

through the moments I most wish I had my own apartment so you didn't see

my worst mood or my shy thighs

my sometime lack of confidence

or misplaced bravado

.

But then you see me bare

caught in your handsome blue headlights

ashamed of my weakness

and you smile that crooked love-smile

and I remember 

I understand

that I was wise as the moon when I chose you 

that when you come to me 

likewise untethered

in your own ways (always so authentic)

I find you adorable

and wish you nowhere else but here

with me and my prying eyes

that cherish you whole

.

You who show me open arms

when I pick a fight before one of us leaves for a long trip

you who calmly say, "It's ok to miss me" and

 I come up against the tears behind the bluster.

You keep me honest when I forget myself.

I don't like missing people.

I don't like losing.

I'd rather fisticuffs than longing.

I don't like the feeling of being laid bare,

warts and all 

I prefer to sparkle around you, to be my absolute best self

but since that's not always a possibility

it's such a fine feeling

to know that you 

see the bedrock of me:

a good

fierce

and

loving woman

who tries her best

too hard sometimes,

too much

and burns out

again and again

like it's a new continent

-

"how could this be?"

Thank you for showing me that the betterment lies just beyond

the wall of seeming defeat that hard moments erect.

Thank you for carefully drawing a map of my heart

and remembering that rocky terrain

gives way to the most verdant valleys

if you can just climb with enough faith

and diligence.

Thank you

forever and ever

'till death do us part

amen.

*****

Verdant ferns

and burned out grass

are the embodiment

of these polar opposite places

we find to love in each other.

In the Metal Shop tonight

along with the sweet small hydrangea posts

below.

I wish you all the most blessed solstice

and the ability to love all the colors

of yourself and your people

fully

and with grace.

Love and then some,

Sunny