Saturday, December 21, 2013

For Better Or Worse Embodied in Brass and Sterling


We have been through richer or poorer.
We have been together in sickness and in health
and surely we are here everyday, showing up in all our better and worse moments
equally
and with as much bravery as can be daily mustered
.

Ah, those words 'For Better or For Worse', encompassing all of it:
for grumpy or for joyful
for quiet of wordy
for comic or tragic
through scorched earth or lushest monsoon
through the moments I most wish I had my own apartment so you didn't see
my worst mood or my shy thighs
my sometime lack of confidence
or misplaced bravado
.


But then you see me bare
caught in your handsome blue headlights
ashamed of my weakness
and you smile that crooked love-smile
and I remember 
I understand
that I was wise as the moon when I chose you 
that when you come to me 
likewise untethered
in your own ways (always so authentic)
I find you adorable
and wish you nowhere else but here
with me and my prying eyes
that cherish you whole
.


You who show me open arms
when I pick a fight before one of us leaves for a long trip
you who calmly say, "It's ok to miss me" and
 I come up against the tears behind the bluster.
You keep me honest when I forget myself.
I don't like missing people.
I don't like losing.
I'd rather fisticuffs than longing.


I don't like the feeling of being laid bare,
warts and all 
I prefer to sparkle around you, to be my absolute best self
but since that's not always a possibility
it's such a fine feeling
to know that you 
see the bedrock of me:
a good
fierce
and
loving woman
who tries her best
too hard sometimes,
too much
and burns out
again and again
like it's a new continent
-
"how could this be?"



Thank you for showing me that the betterment lies just beyond
the wall of seeming defeat that hard moments erect.
Thank you for carefully drawing a map of my heart
and remembering that rocky terrain
gives way to the most verdant valleys
if you can just climb with enough faith
and diligence.

Thank you
forever and ever
'till death do us part
amen.


*****

Verdant ferns
and burned out grass
are the embodiment
of these polar opposite places
we find to love in each other.

In the Metal Shop tonight
along with the sweet small hydrangea posts
below.





I wish you all the most blessed solstice
and the ability to love all the colors
of yourself and your people
fully
and with grace.

Love and then some,
Sunny

4 comments:

Sybil Ann said...

love

pencilfox said...

such poetry, pure and honest and raw.
i love it.

xoxo

prairiegirl said...

We all have our days.
You say it so well.
Acceptance, confession, right or wrong
Bad or good.
You always come out smiling, shining.
Hugs to you and thank you for this truth.

Cat said...

♥♥♥

love and light