The Only Thing

It's him.

Him and nothing else: the only thing on earth I feel unconditional

about all of the time, one hundred percent.

I gently waffle on matters of love

I worry incessantly about things I cannot control

and sometimes even my job is on the line which is crazy since I am my own boss

but

Orion....

he is the pinnacle of all things beautiful and pure on earth: a baby.

Yes, I know this will change

and fuck-you-very-much for your winking gruff side-nudge that I won't feel this way about him when he's sixteen and surly

or just wait until he's walking won't I be tired then!!

'Grrrrrr', growls the grumpy tiger in me. 

These conspiratorial delights are my Everest - I didn't have a baby to eat bon-bons and get fanned by the Grecian Pool Boy - I signed up for all of it.

Yes, I will be tired.

Yes, he will likely be tough and near-impossible at times as he navigates this world

but bring it on,

seriously:

bring.

it.

on.

Give me fatigue any day over the lack of him.

Give me sleepless nights of teething

over silent entwined dreaming any day.

Give me one-handed dinner-eating with giggles and farts and baby spit

over a night out at some great place everyone recommends...

(but, ummmm please know that a date every month-or- more- if-we're-lucky is a gift to cherish!)

Give me a mountain of shit-filled diapers and pea-and-brown-rice-laden bibs to wash:

I will do it while he babbles in his bouncer next to me,

calling "Ma ma ma ba ba bahhh"

like it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.

Give me high-pitched shrieks of delight in line at the grocery store

and socks that come right off of ham-tastic feets...

I'll take another helping of getting my knuckles chewed on

and the first smile of the morning knocking me out like a winged punch...

Yes, please: I will have another moment of not being sure what this new face means, what this cry is all about, another chance to use that wonderful mother-animal instinct...

A lifetime has never felt shorter

than it has since this love took over

my days.

Orion.

My Star,

My Son:

You are the only thing I understand this much...

Thank you for six months of utter confusion and bliss and wonder.

Love,

Mama

Random Beauty and Back-ness...

Green Floral Plumes in the darkest brown agate,

a slab I could not resist making my own...

autumnal

Haunting...

Diaper bag I made for myself

Big enough to be a weekender...

thinking of making one for the Leather Shop...

Beautiful stones from a sweet tiny shop in Stillwater, MN...

.

Our trip was transformative and important.

Orion got to spend a lot of time with two doting grandparents, an Auntie who loves him so much and an Uncle he charmed.

There were friends that came to visit, trips out of the city and 60 miles logged on a bike around the Grand Rounds and River trails.

Baby Boy turned 6 months (more on that later)

Bickering and forgiveness peppered the time in just the right amounts

Orion proved to be like a Goodwill Ambassador representing little souls under the age of one year, showing the general populace that they can be pretty rad.

I 

swore a lot

ate well

reached my monthly goal weight loss in spite of dulce de leche cheesecake and enchiladas that merited seconds

decided that we have to move to Minneapolis 

went shopping at Nordstrom Rack and came out a winner (!!)

kayaked

missed Schmilly in a gratifying way

started O on fruits and veggies

Spent time with Jeremy and Sabin, thank goodness

stayed in pjs until noon more days than not

had a night out at the Dakota with my Poppy

gathered little bits of my fragmented-ness to bring home whole

and

smelled the summer drying out Midwest-style.

.

.

.

It was awesome.

I am opening the shops again:

feel free to 

PERUSE

PURCHASE

and

PREEN!

xoxo,

Sunny

Gone in Three

Hello, Lovely Ladies and Lads!

Just a note to tell you that I will be stepping away from the computer and closing up both shops for the better part of two weeks starting Sunday night:

anything that you purchase until that time will ship on Monday

by the hand of my lovely husband.

Thanks for being wonderful.

oxox,

Allisunny

Cornucopia

RESERVED

Something for everyone

later today

IN

EVERY

SHOP

You'll know the story of the old bull elephant

and why we need his maturity most

.

The wonders of flight

And the sweetness of the earth

Do come by:

reserves are welcome.

xoxo,

Sunny

Is It Not Still Beautiful?

Hammer and wood block formed sterling silver and fine silver spiculum flower with chrysoprase

I can feel the autumn creeping closer even in the heat of the day....can you?

Even in spring I've felt the autumn of a marriage

of a friendship turned sour

of death, the greatest mystery we conceive...

but that opposite of what you love,

that counter-rotation of the stars

heavy and strange

and brimming with ache and possibility...

is it not still beautiful?

In the trying times of love I can still see the gifts given....can you?

In the fading form of a flower

crisping in the heat of August

I can still see the Hand of God at work

because without the withering

there can be no blossom to celebrate

without the loss no understanding of the pain others know, too;

no community

no kinship beyond blood.

I encourage you to look at the things you tuck behind the 

newness

the rickety and peeling

missing buttons and slightly torn

the doors closed to a room you once loved

and ask yourself,

"Is this not still beautiful?"

.

Get as still as you can

if the kids allow

and as quiet as a summer night will permit, crickets and all...

given enough time and space the answer will come: a quiet and calm

"yes"

pulsing with life 

as all things do.

xoxo,

Sunny

Old Bull Elephant

First Protector of the series

he whips the young ones into shape -

I cannot wait to share the work with you, the idea behind it is so full of magic and symbolism.

xoxo,

S

California Poppy Mandala Necklace, an Ode.

California Poppy Mandala Necklace: enamel graphite watercolor on copper with sterling swing bails and chain. 

I came to you at 24 with a broken heart and a propensity to wear midriff-exposing t-shirts over it.

Moxy.

Sex.

I had dreams of owning an El Camino in Metal Flake Blue

and a chihuahua named Pepito

of driving daily to the beach for introspection and guitar strumming-

I was, after all, going to be a musician.

Life put other offers on the table and I accepted

becoming the woman who writes this thank-you letter now

from a cottage in San Jose, baby sleeping nearby...

a woman who has been bitten by the entrepreneurial spirit of your first settlers

who daily consumes the fruits and veggies of your earth

who loves you in spite of traffic and crowding

and grave financial disparities. 

After all, you are not those things: we are.

You are the land.

The redwoods and poppies

and wild beasts who roam far from the city lights...

You are the oldest mountains eroded down to nubs by the years

the pockets of wildflowers between ancient oaks.

You are the scent of the ocean

and the burn of the desert

stuck under my skin like a cholla burr...

You, my dear state are home

for this bag of bones.

Thank you for cradling me in your tremulous palm

while I sleep and wake

here.

xoxo,

Allisunny

Mornings Around Here

xoxo,

Sunny

In This Heart

Old Bull Elephant Protector: Enamel Graphite and Watercolor on Copper 

In Hand

The first Protector is making his journey into being:

A percentage of the proceeds from each sale will go toward an organization dedicated to the well-being 

and preservation of that species... I am so looking forward to donating.

I have seven animals in mind to honor.

I am also thrilled to be able to translate my greatest wishes

into physical, thanks to the power of enamel

and the wonder of a fantastic babysitter who moves me closer to my work twice a week.

welcome, Fierce One. 

Off to cradle Orion

In

SONG.

xoxo,

Sunny

California

In Leather.

I love this state!

xoxo,

A

Un-man the Gates!

The world will not eat you alive if you are vulnerable: it may smell your fear and chase that trail

for years

but it will not vanquish an open heart.

Love destroys petty fuckery even if you cannot see the battle.

Try it: spend a lifetime pitting your spite against it, your smallness: these things will never slake a thirst.

They need hate and competition to thrive -it's love that forces the surrender by starvation. It then gathers the opposing side in its massive arms and turns them into lovers.

This weekend something beautiful happened: I'll give you the Cliff Notes version:

I understood (after attempting to reconstruct the previous for months) that there is no arrival point in this postpartum world

just a requirement that I be as brave as possible and open to the shifting landscape without trying to stop the car.

A dear beloved girlfriend came down from San Francisco to visit today. She had spent the better part of three months globe-trotting; India, Guatemala, Mexico, Costa Rico. She spoke of her travels and noted that 

traveling alone requires you to use all your intuition, all your senses working at full throttle.

'Yes', I nodded in strange understanding.

This place I am in right now feels foreign and distant and exotic

though I may never even leave my home to go there.

Every mother I talk to affirms the huge shift that takes place after the arrival of a new life so dependent and always changing - 'new normal' is the phrase so often used.

Instead of clinging to the old and deceased way of living that died with my placenta

I am opening again

to the ever-changing now

vulnerable

to the

understanding that today's joy may be tomorrow's confusion

or sorrow or something else

and yet it's all ripe

and abundant and alive

with potential.

A bit of a magic carpet ride...

can you imagine what riches we'd know if we opened to all of the places inside with the wonder of a traveler

or

With the open heart of a lover?

xoxo,

S

Can a rock be......sexy?

I think I can safely say 'yes' after cabbing this handsome lug:

it's equal parts 80's hair metal guitar

and Stetson Cowboy commercial...

A Montana agate that wants to go 'make it' in Los Angeles

hitching a ride

to dreamland....

He's picked up by a family in their Dodge station wagon (this is 1987, of course!)

and befriends them all.

His gorgeous face and 'aww shucks' charm pleases the wife a little too much

and the married pair find their lives gently shaken up by the tall stranger.

There are diner scenes, car scenes, almost-sex-scenes followed by deep outdoor-windy introspection scenes.

Ultimately the marriage pulls through (with the cowboy's help, of course)

and the surly teenage son realizes he belongs out west under the open sky.

There are montages.

Musical montages

and

high bangs...

there are 80's movie life-lessons 

and lots of synth music.

Don't you want to see this?

Head over to the Lapidary Shop:

it's better than any film - it's real life!

I am also putting in the last of the Prudent Man from Vein #1 that I've got cabbed -

it doesn't get much more gorgeous than this scene.

Have a wonderful weekend, all:

may you be surrounded by friends, family and pets

with a cool drink in hand and warm thoughts in head.

Love,

Allison

Portrait and mandalas.

"What we call fate does not come into us from the outside, but emerges from us."

- Rilke

Just a smidge over five months

You've been busy discovering your feet

your vocal range up near 'dog whistle'

and putting your fingers in my mouth while I talk, smiling in recognition that you've found the source of tender words. 

Rice cereal mixed with my milk is your evening meal now because you watched every spoon and forkful of food that we ate with wonder and did I detect a hint of woe?

The very first feeding you were in looooove with cereal, in love with being spoon fed.

I have begun to imagine there is a world beyond breastfeeding, though the very thought of not feeding you mainly from my body aches my heart.

Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, shall we? I'll follow your lead.

Diaper changes still delight you to the marrow; I am amazed to watch you

growing out of the 'foldover' section of cloth nappies:

when did you get so big, my Sweet?

You are gentle and kind and intuitive

your little eyes well up with tears when I sing to you, most often when the words are so sweet and my voice lands like a red bird on a branch;

you are an old soul - I know it when that happens, when my love for you in song moves you even this young. 

When anyone comes to visit or when we're out you might often hear yourself described using the words

'calm'

'happy'

'well-fed'

and that makes my chest feathers puff out with pride:

I do my very best to take exquisite care of you.

I've never found anything more precious on this earth than every breath you take!

You are teething, chewing my knuckles and your blankets and seemingly everything but the toys we bought for...teething!

When you are very tired you act out the theatre masks of comedy and tragedy within five seconds of each other,

tears to laughter encore after encore

until I rock you and shush you to sleep.

This process is very funny, though half of the time it isn't for you!

I feel like you've been here forever-

your papa and I have found our footing and a routine that works well for all three of us and Janey

but every so often I catch myself touching my tiny belly pooch

as if expecting

This roundness to be there

as though I am still awaiting your arrival....

I know I say this so much

both out loud and in silent reflection

but 

thank you, Orion Henry.

Thank you for choosing us to be your earthly guardians:

your soul pleases us so 

very very much.

With More Love Than Could be Fathomed,

Mama

Midsummer Wildflowers

Mint Chrysoprase with Sea Plant

Bee wing bracelet

PREHNITE/TURQUOISE RESERVED

Earring trinity in Arizona turquoises, enamel on copper, amethyst and

 prehnite stones.

Born of peepers and bedtime stories

.

summer salads and grilling in the backyard

.

love renewed

.

promises kept

RESERVED

In the Metal Shop

Thursday evening.

xoxo,

Sunny One