This is how I feel today: kind of not quite ready for the world...
the exceptional town I live in currently is a place I would remain in a perfect world.
It's so lovely, so old and venerable
and the earth
like a blanket
and I love that, I really really do.
And now I have a daily companion: my neighbor's dog, Seven. He is this massive, shy dog with ice blue eyes and a gentle-ness whose grace I cannot articulate.
He sits outside of my door while I silversmith, but he is scared of louder noises and takes to the grass when I start tooling leather.
The wisteria are blooming, as are all of the beautiful plants I fell in love with when we moved here. When we came to Petaluma I felt that they were waving such a welcoming 'hello!' and now it feels distinctly like a bittersweet goodbye.
Los Angeles was hard to leave because of my dearest girl and boyfriends, but Petaluma is hard to leave because of the earth. I feel like someone planted me here with benevolent intentions
and now I am getting repotted somewhere else...
I know San Jose will be amazing -
I will find a yoga studio straightaway (today is day 28, by the way!)
and a park to seek solace in.
I will look forward to our upcoming trip to see Phil and Jessi get married in early May,
to Jillian coming in mid-May to create with me
Matt and Irene getting married in July
my sister coming in September
and a myriad of other things to pull me through....
I am just sad, that's all.
It's not a bad thing, just a process of unwinding your grasp from something you think you need to be happy.
I did it with Los Angeles: I unwound and found genuine happiness here - I know without a doubt that my strong soul can do it again.
But how do you say goodbye to those eyes?