Monday, October 29, 2012

Heart Clutch


I suppose I could tell you about the stubborn chest cold that Orion gifted to us last week after we returned from traveling
(he chews on everything he touches: high chairs, tables, Lord help us)


Or about the really exciting leather pieces I have been tooling so slowly
so surely
in hopes of revealing them in November


Or give you the pumpkin flaxseed muffin recipe that rocked our taste buds
for a healthy treat

I could speak of seasons
and family
and the kernels of forgiveness that have blossomed into love
through tonglen
so much tonglen...


But by far the most compelling thing I want to share is this:
tonight in the light of the sea-scene lamp that Auntie and Uncle Rosie sent
I looked at Orion and saw him as a man
or more clearly
saw his immense potential
tightly locked for perfect timing in his tiny body.

My heart clutched at the moment
like a desperate lover being left

and I struggled under the weight of loving so much it crushed
.

I am mortal
and I love a boy with every particle of my reach:
that is devastation
and resurrection
right there


I spend my time with him
like
gold.

xo,
S


7 comments:

Cat said...

and THAT my friend
is what makes you the most perfect and beautiful mama for him ever!!!!!
so touching A...we are at different side of the spectrum (my oldest being almost 19) but the feelings are the same...
did you see this one?
http://loveandlight-cat.blogspot.ca/2012/10/monday-offeringmy-man-child.html
ahhh the love of a mother
crushing a liberating all at once
a true reflection of the ebb and flow of life
♥♥♥

love and light

Cat said...

Tonglen sounds wonderful. As is your boy and your love.

thewindhover said...

Such beautiful words, such a handsome bathing boy!

"I looked at Orion and saw him as a man
or more clearly
saw his immense potential
tightly locked for perfect timing in his tiny body"

Oh, I felt this recently too, looking deep into Reuben's eyes as he played by himself; his expressions, potential, and the immensity of it all...
xx

Sybil Ann said...

The love for family gives us insight into the nature of God.

WillowMetals said...

♥ Loving a child gives a whole new meaning of "loving so much it hurts"... It's amazing, it's wonderful....and it hurts♥

Allisunny S. said...

Ladies,

I love your input and I love you.

xoxo,
A

Taddyporter said...

I am completely undone by that little boy.... :)

So much heart healing going on, I can feel it! .....xo