Heart Clutch

I suppose I could tell you about the stubborn chest cold that Orion gifted to us last week after we returned from traveling

(he chews on everything he touches: high chairs, tables, Lord help us)

Or about the really exciting leather pieces I have been tooling so slowly

so surely

in hopes of revealing them in November

Or give you the pumpkin flaxseed muffin recipe that rocked our taste buds

for a healthy treat

I could speak of seasons

and family

and the kernels of forgiveness that have blossomed into love

through tonglen

so much tonglen...

But by far the most compelling thing I want to share is this:

tonight in the light of the sea-scene lamp that Auntie and Uncle Rosie sent

I looked at Orion and saw him as a man

or more clearly

saw his immense potential

tightly locked for perfect timing in his tiny body.

My heart clutched at the moment

like a desperate lover being left

and I struggled under the weight of loving so much it crushed

.

I am mortal

and I love a boy with every particle of my reach:

that is devastation

and resurrection

right there

I spend my time with him

like

gold.

xo,

S