If I could go back I'd thank you,
standing there with a snotty nose and my pride somewhere knocked down south.
I'd thank you for leaving, for revealing my weak spots to sad ears
and I'd really and truly wish you well.
Like really really.
As it was I cursed your name and decided that I'd dedicate the coming months to moping and storytelling
because that is what you do when you are young,
before the businesses and babies
before the weight of years piles up like bricks.
When you are young there is time to revel in mud for mud's sake
but the universe had other plans for me
including but not limited to:
synchronicity abundant and outrageous
I look back on that leg of the journey with a sense of awe:
I thought I'd lost my whole world
but instead your absence left a golden key
to the skies.
And that space to the left of my shitty mold-cold apartment where you tossed my bleeding heart?
A tree grows there now with leaves as big as love
born of hard work and
This Discarded Heart necklace
and a Volcano Vessel in the prettiest greens with a shining labradorite center
will be in the
a little while.