Sunday, December 11, 2011

Just Around Midnight


It started sometime in the middle of the night:
a nagging sadness that felt like a scoop of vitality taken out of the center of my chest
a crankiness that made me want to pull the covers over my head and skip
the next twenty four hours of life, stay in bed and aim for distraction.

From waking
to shower
Farmer's Market to
home
here she is: the blue day in all her glory.

Isn't it kind of amazing how frequently these grey soul days come after great accomplishment?

We nearly stripped the entire bathroom of its awful maroon paint yesterday
in preparation for a warm deerskin color we'll apply in a week or so
and Friday night I had my first Ladies' Night in years, the first time since Los Angeles
that I've known enough local lady friends to sit around a comfy living room
and talk about everything under the sun...

and then under a full moon the mantle of dim descends
like a mini-hibernation for the soul
starkly beautiful and beneficial all the same as those peaks we know.

Just as I've made a mental picture of Munson, my grouchy inner critic,
I think I know what my Lady of Infinite Sorrows looks like:
she is lovely in drapes of grey fabric
carrying a wilted bouquet
in walking meditation
bearing the weight of the world's woes in an oversized wicker basket.

Her face is lined with compassion, her hair silver as snow.

I never realized before writing her description how much she means to me,
this part of the whole that brings pause and rest
to bustling days.

I never knew I felt tender towards that kind of quiet...

I think I will bake a pear cake today
work on finishing the pieces that need finishing
and take a long walk in the dim evening light
with my husband
and my babe.

I might even introduce the Gray Lady to a little Tom Jones on vinyl
and perhaps she will find it as delightful as I find her silent company...

I hope that when your patron saint of sadness
sends an invitation this season or any other
you allow yourself to let them in
and know the gifts they have to give:
they are many
and meaningful.

xo,
S

10 comments:

Sybil Ann said...

Her company is always so seductive - it's good to know when to banish her. XO

Nancy*McKay said...

You are such a lovely poet...

&
oh, Tom Jones is the perfect match for Lady Grey!!!
g.o.o.d.b.y.e Earl!

Sunny Rising Leather said...

Sybil - banishment always leads to repeat visits until the real message is delivered: I prefer to patiently let her stay until there is clarity :)

Nancy - Hugs to you: how are you holding up? xoxo

Cat said...

beautiful beautiful beautiful
i agree
let them in
have tea
visit
after all
she is us....

Love and Light

Sybil Ann said...

Indubitably my dear! I may be guilty of indulging her.

Kelly said...

lovely
yes indeed, over tea and a calm mind/soul she can stay for a spell...this is good to remember, always...

Lisa at lil fish studios said...

I think my lady of sadness is a little less graceful and probably has her lower lip sticking out in a pout like a spoiled child. I've never given her a face before, and never thought to before now.

Here's hoping she doesn't overstay her welcome, and leaves shinier days in her path.

MrsLittleJeans said...

I second Nancy...when lady grey wants in, might as well let her in but I think we should not let her stay too long, send her off as fast as is possible..xx

UmberDove said...

This was needed.
xox
- K

Sybil Ann said...

Sadness we absolutely must acknowledge and learn from - her evil twin in black is the one I fear! She's the one who would linger to our detriment.