Today was a day off, a blissful one.
That feels so good to say since between being sick
and feeling overwhelmed this kind of nice has been hard to find.
Orion and I played a lot: since his scoot has gotten super-fast he chases me around the house shrieking with delight, this hyper-wonderful open-mouth drool-smile constantly on his face.
He chuckles and chortles and then has to stop because he's laughing so hard.
So am I!
I treasured this so much and took life-flashing-before-your-eyes mental snapshots.
His hair is getting so long now with little curl wisps behind his ears like a little angelic hockey player
and he is imitating everything he hears.
I have to stop myself from squeezing him too hard because I just enjoy and love him at this phase so much: he makes sense right now. A tiny human.
Save your 'terrible two and three' asides, I know, I know.....
When I get overwhelmed with the pressures of earning a living from art,
I step away. I hug my baby and play.
Ha - I say that like I actually do it gracefully!
It is SO hard for me to do this, and I normally have to hit some sort of rocky shoal before I am willing to let go.
Just as with giving what you most wish to receive, you cannot do this with any motive - it requires a purity of intent, in this case to get the fuck out of the massive hole you're digging for yourself by obsessing and indulging in fruitless and repetitive behavior.
Put DOWN the brush
Once you've come out of the thick of it, plan on doing something really nice for yourself.
When I have gone too far in the direction of work, my Saving Grace becomes baking.
While you can absolutely alter recipes (which is its own creativity)
I take such comfort in the wonder of measurements someone else has done that will (when combined according to mathematical and scientific magic) create a resulting delicacy.
Earlier this week it was
sugar cookies. Oh my God, you guys. Oh my God.
Today it was my mother's Shaker recipe for Orange Cranberry Bread
and my own(!) for magic maths for chocolate cornstarch pudding with Kosher salt flakes dusting the top.
Here's how I make it:
1 cup of sugar
1/2 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 cup (plus a scant 1 tsp) corn starch
dash of salt
4 cups whole milk
2 Tbsp butter
1 Tbsp Vanilla extract
Whisk together the dry ingredients in a heavy saucepan
and add the milk slowly, whisking to ensure a smooth pudding.
allow the mixture to boil (while still whisking) for two minutes until thick
the remove from heat.
Stir in the butter and vanilla
and pour in to nice cups.
Dust with kosher flake salt
and refrigerate until set
Baking is my something else
in a really therapeutic way
and Anthony really appreciates the desserts!
So do I.
Go fly a kite
or play in the ocean
swing in the park like a kid
or bake the living love out of a loaf of bread
Today's Journal Entry:
Do Something Else.
Write about the relief if that's what you feel
or the guilt
or the joy.