A Little Grace Necklace

Yesterday evening there was a bit of upset in the tone of a voicemail from a friend.

We were trying to make plans for a short visit as she drove north

and we'd been texting and voicemailing with no direct contact.

I had set my phone aside for the better part of a full day.

Surely she was frustrated.

Up until that moment I had felt 

like the captain of my hours, like a success...

the grocery store

the wrestle to establish napping

some administrative duties once the nap happened

cleaning

cooking

running this house, this business and this life with my head on straight.

But

as soon as I detected that subtle shift

and found that I had let someone down by not being timely

I felt wobbly on my legs

and pissed.

PISSED.

Not at my dearest friend

not at my fussy child with the four molars burrowing through his gums

but at the fact that I dropped a plate somewhere amongst the thirteen spinning simultaneously.

I called my girlfriend and ungently listed all of the things I am trying to do at once and

without taking a breath I cried,

"I just need grace! Just give me grace!!"

She did.

She was amazing as she always is, a true lifer.

The phone call was brief and established everything we needed to know for the following day.

The truest grace, though, is something I needed to grant myself

for having thirteen spinning plates and only dropping one.

The truest grace I could give myself is the permission to know that no matter how many I drop or how often it happens I am still whole and loved

To be gentle

and honest 

and to do my best

in each moment

with trust and love

filling my own well (like the oxygen mask on a plane) so that I might give generously

of my time

and care

.

.

.

I made this necklace as a token for that moment when you find you need a reminder to 

be gentle and graceful with your own sweet self.

The petal is one from a few flowers I plucked on a walk not too long ago

on a day when I was practicing moving meditation and self-care

with healthy gusto.

You can find it

HERE

I offer it up with a toast:

here's to our health

to our faith

and our goodness...

may they all be strong and steady.

xoxo,

Sunny