Meditations on Groundless Living

I've carried with me the desire to make a very particular earring these last few weeks.

My heart has been very tender.

We like to fool ourselves into thinking that if we just keep our plates filled and make plans for next November

each moment will unfold as we've accounted for.

What we forget is that this framework through which we create a safety net doesn't really exist

in fact

the only thing that exists at all is this present moment

which happens over and over and over again

fresh and new

fresh and new and sometimes scary

sometimes blissful

always beyond our plans, beyond our control

.

We are groundless, with the next moment unfolding constantly

like a flower ever blooming

in and out of death

company and loneliness

ease and disease

.

Sometimes this feels very comforting

or adventurous,

breath thrumming through your body and the boom of our hearts

and sometimes this is very overwhelming

because we want a guarantee

so that we can avoid pain

.

These are the things I've been mulling around as I've created and refined this little series

uncomfortable

necessary

and completely human

.

xoxo,

Sunny

Flux and Acrylic Enamel Color Test

There are bubbles in my flux

and the sun is poorly placed near the beak of my great egret

but my heart is beaming in my chest like a little kid

smiling at the luxury of taking a few hours to test new colors

succeeding

and failing

and

enjoying both

.

xoxo,

S

Full Circle Magic Clutch

When I found out I was carrying my boy I became a new thing, a mother-on-paper and vessel for this soul I would usher into our world.

I was careful and gentle and aware in ways I'd never imagined being careful gentle and aware.

On the morning that Orion left the safety of my womb I died to the previous versions of myself

beautifully and with no small violence:

I felt the familiar ripped from me

and I grieved.

During a recent conversation with a dear girlfriend and new mother I heard the phrase "I dread the night" from her tremulous sleep-deprived voice and I remembered the fear

the ache and my own dread of sunset with clarity.

The first weeks

the lostness

the too-big-new-love that feels like a wave pummeling over and over

It broke my heart to know others have to suffer in order to find the light again.

She will

I did

with grace we all can

.

It is timely that I made this magic-spell-in-leather a year after my baby was born

mostly because all my mama friends said it took them a year to feel like themselves again

but the thing is, I don't feel like I used to at all.

My body is different

my skin surrounds my bones in ways that I would have seen as foreign before

and the world has changed through these eyes

at once more beautiful

more terrible

a place to explore

not just for my own courage but for his...

I have always been what the french refer to as "Jolie-Laide" - both beautiful and ugly

from different angles, sometimes both at once.

These are not pitying words: I love my odd and unique face.

I used to try and capture only the good angles

but motherhood has taught me a new beauty

that shines from the inside out

not as goodness like some people say

but as the acknowledgment of circles

cycles

birth and death

world without end

.

I would never go back to what was old and free

because my tether is my liberation

as all mothers understand.

I died to previous patterns

and thoughts

and mourned them appropriately

only to discover a castle where a hut had stood

in the center of my heart

with my son and God

.

This Magic Clutch was meticulously and painstakingly hand tooled and painted with a watercolor technique and lined in glorious cherry red suede.

Richly textured

hand-stitched

shining and healthy

.

I want to explain all of the elements to you, but my heart tells me not to, that it would break the spell I wish to cast for the woman who will carry it.

Squirrel skull

magnolia blossoms

bee wing

antique candle newly lit

whorls

meditative repeating patterns

are all I can say.

It is powerful and rich and made to remind you with a peridot wink (in fine and sterling silvers) that death is a doorway to the greatest mystery and life a cycle

we are born to a million times over before our breath finally stops

.

It is for courage

for trust

for wonder

.

it will be 

HERE

later today.

xoxo,

Sunny

Angelus Color Test

A beautiful mixture of acrylic and dye (though not combined - when that happens the paint just simply turns into a glob and never mixes with the dye)

that took me over a week to complete...

A color test for my upcoming June workshop at The Ranch in Snohomish, Washington.

The preparation for this weekend class has been the catalyst for stretching into new territory

and the wonders of these new worlds are rich.

Wallpaper florals and white wolf, a take on my city-critter subject matter...domesticated wildness.

Digging deeper into the well.

Seeking and finding.

I have bubblegum pink garment leather I've cut out for a big hobo bag...

I have plans for it to be paired with some rather gritty subject matter...

when did these shifts happen?

I have a clutch to share with you tomorrow...the magic clutch...

oh it is something to behold!!

On the subject of Angelus:

any of you lovelies that work with leather will be pleased as punch to know that there are other options besides Tandy's offerings - I would like to introduce you to these dyes as another possibility with a great and varied color line and a really nice result on tooled hides.

I give the dyes an emphatic thumbs-up!

xoxox,

Sunny

Lady Tiger Ring

This is a ring for the regal feline that resides inside of every woman.

How aware we are of her depends on how much sex we're enjoying,

how much sensual delight we're finding

and how wild and delicious our day-to-day life is.

For most of us then, that would be in peeks and pops, Saturday nights and lingering over fries and dessert with our besties.

It's in painting and catching up,  reading while we soak in warm tubs

or resting in the arms of our beloved all dewy and blushing

.

Then the dishes pile and the laundry is divided and we fret over 

running out of daylight for tasks that multiply like rabbits

.

There's the breasts that engorge when we've gone too long between feedings

and the sweet potato flung on our shirts from the sneezes of a baby at lunch

(these would be mine, obviously!)

.

There's forgetting to wear nice underwear because we're trying to remember our names

and what we promised to whom this week that we didn't write down....

but I wear that she's there sleeping in that dry cave

licking her hungry chops

waiting for night

or the blessed day you get enough sleep to think of indulging in life's delicacies once more

.

For the moments you forget, consider this your reminder ring.

Australian Print Stone, sterling and fine silvers

size 9.5

.

One pair of conch shell and pearl magic mushroom 

earrings will be heading into the shop momentarily.

My parents are here to celebrate their grandson's first year on earth

and they are napping in tandem with Orion.

The house is filled with the dreaming sighs of people I love

and I nurse my coffee and work, grateful for all of it.

A beautiful day to you, dear friends!

xoxox,

Sunny

Inverness

My Beauty Well had completely run dry a few weeks ago.

You see, I was putting every bit of inspiration the days and weeks were giving me into my work without refilling the account, without going museum-ing or taking the camera out on neighborhood walks.

There were no hikes or bike rides at night with my blinking light to guide the way...

so

as a treat for the three of us I booked a night at a favorite place brought to my attention during a trip

with a dear dove.

to Hell with 7-11: thank heaven for Inverness!!!

We packed up Brock and wound our way North across the Golden Gate and through the culinary treats of Petaluma

settling in for a while under the duck blind and watching the Great Egrets and Herons

slow down our breath and take it away.

I am forever amazed at how well Orion travels, at his wonderful comfort level in new places.

Whenever we go out to eat with him there is the inevitable comment from another table or a server as we're leaving: "Your baby is so calm, so good" -

I think it's because the world has been such a lovely place for him so far,

every outing showing him the best of people.

Smiles and fun and questions that help him come out of his shy shell...

May it continue to be so!

It's not like we were broken when we came up to our true home this Saturday (a year in Petaluma and my heart belongs to the earth of the North Bay, to those ancient mountains that time wore out)

but we were frayed.

Our hearts needed ministering to by birdsong and irish hills.

Orion saw his first significant ocean waves at a Favorite Beach

.

we fell asleep to the sound of Hoot Owls calling to each other in the dark

.

We watched hummingbirds fight over the sweet nectar of a feeder

.

I think we owe it to ourselves to get out of Dodge as frequently as the soul needs

and fill all the empty places that outside things can fill

as soon as possible

because even though the world has proven great art can come from tortured and parched spirits

I've certainly never known that to be true.

I've known fire and inspiration to come from ache and healing, but none from 

a dry and exhausted well.

Driving home tonight they began their slow and tremulous waltz through my psyche,

the nymphs of inspiration.

I listened, I sketched in my head the things that they whispered

and oh my friends...it is so good.

SO

good.

Are you taking care of you, oh dear Reader?

Tell me what you've done to tend your dry places

and we'll compare notes.

With love,

Sunny Bearing Water

Magic Mushroom Earrings, Beach Escape Edition

End of February blues: I feel the weight of this month like whoa!

Should I duck from you east-coasters throwing tomatoes?

I probably should...

I hear it's cold out your way. Like real cold cold.

but

don't be so quick to heave those out-of-season reds at me:

I have a cure for the February blues!!

It's one part enamel on copper toadstool 

equal parts hammered sterling circlets

gorgeous silver chain

Asymmetrical hang, three conch shell tube beads

and a dash of pearls.

Mix together and wear on your gorgeous lobes, Ms.

Two colors are available right now:

ombre red

and

ombre marigold

.

Trust me - you cannot wear them without a smile

and in these silly old dim days of late winter that can take a bit of doing!

To reserve one of two pairs,

convo me

HERE.

Sending you beachy thoughts,

Sunny

Simply Riveting

This weekend

I had a wonderful conversation with Merry-Lee Rae

 over a delicious slice of princess cake

.

We talked about many things from children to work and back.

It was all inspiring, all totally informing and wonderful to see that someone whose work 

I die over (she was wearing one of her pieces, and they are even more astounding in person)

is such a down-to-earth and good soul.

I look forward to the next time I see her luminous face!

In trying to express where I am in relationship to my craft

I said something about being a few words in to the sentence that would define my body of work someday

in retrospect.

RESERVE PENDING

It's as close as I've ever come to finding the right words for this middle place.

There is a glorious creative dangling carrot in front of me, these threads of a woven tapestry that are finding the language to explain their pattern

.

RESERVED

I am listening.

.

In the meantime, there is delight to be found in revisiting designs I adored making before

adding little flourishes and sweet spots that make the work feel new and fresh.

RESERVED

Three pairs of cleanly riveted natural wonders will be flying into 

the metal shop

tomorrow-ish:

if one of them belongs only to you, please feel free to reserve

them today

.

Wishing you mounds of joy and warmth on this chilly rainy Nor Cal day!

xoxox,

Sunny

Magic Clutch, Phase II

Fine sweet peridot set in sterling and fine silvers...

squirrel skull and magnolias 

Antique candle, lit again

golden halo

wing of bee

.

I Put a Spell on You

.

xoxox,

S

L'Heure Exquise

I sang this song in college when I was trending towards more operatic material.

It was one of the most beautiful pieces of music I'd ever heard,

and it still

astounds

.

It translates as 'the exquisite hour'

and we have one of them every evening here at the little California cottage.

The light goes golden

and deepens to amber, pouring from the west into our front windows

and setting our rooms aglow.

It is also Orion's second nap of the day

and his sweet little curls rest against my chest

as we soak in the luminous together

before I nestle him down and tend to supper

and business.

 I am falling behind on things this last week:

please bear with me as I try to balance

these many hats

and keep us all full and content.

Convos and lingering custom orders are delayed a bit (I promise I'll get to them soon)

but my son is never hungry
always comforted 

his gums are popping teeth left and right (now we have six!)

 my husband's cheek gets kissed right on time

and because of the magic that technology affords us

both grandmas will share in our evening

light bath tonight.

Family comes first in this exquisite hour.

.

xoxo,

Sunny