Sunday, June 5, 2011

PMS and The Charms of Tea

Be forewarned:

As I write this, I am in the iron-clad grip of hormones.
These are not pretty hormones, they are Viking in nature and quite frankly I feel like I am going mad.

Here's the funny thing: most of the time, everything is normal with my moon stuff: but the kicker is that I have about three or four periods a year where everything is so heightened, so perilous that I kind of hide for a few days...

so what am I doing (on that type of day, mind you) writing about this here? Well, you have become my circle, my community


I KNOW I am not alone in this place of struggle, brief and sofa king ('so fucking' for the purists!) awful as it is!

Do you get PMS, ladies?

Men, do you get your 'comma'?
(Schmilly is pretty adorable in his explanation of men's hormonal fluctuations: a comma instead of a period. I thank God I have his humor in my life on days of flux!)

Heaven help us both when I get pregnant!! ;)

Here is what I did today when I thought despair would become my temporary middle name:

I breathed.

I did everything I could to be unafraid of the thoughts, no matter how dim - just to have the ability to observe our thoughts and emotions tells us God is near. And loving.

I did not buy a pack of cigarettes (we go waaaaay back, Winston and I - sometimes we date when I am lost or stressed. Real talk.)

There was a visit to the farmer's market
quail eggs were purchased along with the usual suspects:

(any recipe suggestions for quail eggs???)

There was a yoga class, rich and challenging
and hence, the internal thoughts quieted enough

to where

I could think of something lovely:


I made myself a cup of Wild Rose white tea


counted my insanely voluminous blessings

I pulled out The Charms of Tea, a book put out by the publishers of Victoria magazine -

(do you remember Victoria magazine?

I do. It brings me great pleasure to know they're still about!)

and I


You know the kind of sigh that pushes the clouds away?
The specific sigh reserved only for days like this
whose translation is

"Phew! I made it."


This was that sigh.

I wish the same relief for you in your struggle, whatever it may be.

Your presence in my life is more important than I could ever
say, and your friendships more delightful, amazing and eye-opening than I could express in any language.

Here's to being where we are and making the best of everything, always.



Nancy*McKay said...

i confess...i was very, very late to discovering Victoria magazine, but once i did i FELL IN LOVE! ooooh the photography, the beauty, the romance!!! i cried when it folded...and i'm JUST NOW learning that it's back & in current production?!!! wtf, hellooooo...where have i been???

anyway, Sunny, thank you & what i really wanted to say is...supposedly drinking Raspberry tea during the 2 weeks before you're "due date," is suppose to relieve you of the PMSing &THE well as staying off of refined sugar!

love that Schmilly...he's a keeper!

WillowMetals said...

I adore you. Oh lady, I sooooo know what you mean. And I think I about fell out of my chair laughing over "comma"! Bahahahahaha! Maybe it is times like these that make us realize how wonderful life is indeed.

When I was pregnant I was more in love with life than ever. I think it was a time when everything around me seemed so magical. The downfall of my pregnancy, I think all it would take is for someone to fart and I'd cry. Ha!

I look forward to the future reading your blog when you have a baby belly. I imagine that you would feel the magic of the world too and be so thankful and blessed to be a woman :) It is the best feeling ever. And a wee Sunny running around would be the cutest thing ever! He or she would have one kick ass, awesome mom that is for sure :)

UmberDove said...

A great many years ago I started a faux punk rock girl band. Well, to be precise, I silkscreen tour t-shirts and handed them out to supporters and enthusiasts.

The name of the band you ask?


(There was, as you can imagine, an image of two VERY pissed off ovaries shaking tiny fists and screaming)

Maybe it's time for a comeback tour [t-shirt reprint].

Gemheaven said...

ha I am the mother of all PMSing ~ I suffer from endometriosis ~ my poor family sometimes I am surprised not to have found they have left and taken up camp in the garden!! My dh says golf always helps o_O

Ps Men get TMT *terrible mood time* it doesn't happem often but when it does ~ oh boy!!

Anonymous said...

sugar snap!

i'm sorry you felt like crap!

ride that wave

ride that Brahma

when you're done

you'll feel 'comma'!!

i know, darn tootin' silly

in all 'puttin' it out there' helps us all to heal and allows you to stand unashamed in your truth!

sigh, baby, sigh...sigh that shit out!

Sybil Ann said...

My mother (wiser all the time) has hypothesized that with all the swelling, inflamation etc that goes along with our hormonal surges, that we are experiencing a swelling in our brains too, which cannot help making us pretty durn close to nutso from time to time.

Menopause is glorious and to be celebrated. :)

resolute twig said...

You are the greatest :)
Glad you made it through ok and did such an amazing job of taking good care of that precious self of yours.
xo said...

I am so grateful to have had my Os and U removed eight years ago and your post only reinforces my gratitude. I'm like a neutered cat, I'm so peaceful.

Quail Eggs : back when I was in the catering biz, we would make a special purchase of quail eggs, hardboil them, lightly crack them and steep them in strong tea. When peeled, this would produce a lovely, lacy pattern. Served simply with sea salt and cracked pepper, occasionally caviar for fun, they weren't anything fancy as far as eggs go, but the looked fabulous. May be comforting as your eggs come and go. =-)

Best :: lynn

Sunny Rising Leather said...

Ladies, you are the best of the best :)

Lynn, I laughed so hard at the 'eggs...eggs' last line I nearly snorted tea out of my nose!!!


Alice Istanbul said...

Ahh, the joys of being a woman. A good cup of tea really helps to mellow the emotions.

Sure hope you're feeling better, love.

Anonymous said...

oh the journey of the woman....
always interesting
I have found as I have gotten older and after my last child I am so in tune with my body it is border line ridiculous
I know when the PMS is going to be worse and when it will be a breeze
sometimes it is brought on my things that are unavoidable, but food exercise and diet I can control, so I do my best
I have also learned to just sink into this more, be kinder to myself...breathe
make sure I am doing the things that give me peace and happiness....

Sunny you are lovely!♥

love and light