As I write this, I am in the iron-clad grip of hormones.
These are not pretty hormones, they are Viking in nature and quite frankly I feel like I am going mad.
Here's the funny thing: most of the time, everything is normal with my moon stuff: but the kicker is that I have about three or four periods a year where everything is so heightened, so perilous that I kind of hide for a few days...
so what am I doing (on that type of day, mind you) writing about this here? Well, you have become my circle, my community
I KNOW I am not alone in this place of struggle, brief and sofa king ('so fucking' for the purists!) awful as it is!
Do you get PMS, ladies?
Men, do you get your 'comma'?
(Schmilly is pretty adorable in his explanation of men's hormonal fluctuations: a comma instead of a period. I thank God I have his humor in my life on days of flux!)
Heaven help us both when I get pregnant!! ;)
Here is what I did today when I thought despair would become my temporary middle name:
I did everything I could to be unafraid of the thoughts, no matter how dim - just to have the ability to observe our thoughts and emotions tells us God is near. And loving.
I did not buy a pack of cigarettes (we go waaaaay back, Winston and I - sometimes we date when I am lost or stressed. Real talk.)
There was a visit to the farmer's market
quail eggs were purchased along with the usual suspects:
(any recipe suggestions for quail eggs???)
There was a yoga class, rich and challenging
and hence, the internal thoughts quieted enough
I could think of something lovely:
I made myself a cup of Wild Rose white tea
counted my insanely voluminous blessings
I pulled out The Charms of Tea, a book put out by the publishers of Victoria magazine -
(do you remember Victoria magazine?
I do. It brings me great pleasure to know they're still about!)
You know the kind of sigh that pushes the clouds away?
The specific sigh reserved only for days like this
whose translation is
"Phew! I made it."
This was that sigh.
I wish the same relief for you in your struggle, whatever it may be.
Your presence in my life is more important than I could ever
say, and your friendships more delightful, amazing and eye-opening than I could express in any language.
Here's to being where we are and making the best of everything, always.