A Month of Gratitude

During the silent retreat I took with my dear friend last weekend

I thought I'd spend the time deepening my sense of gratitude, accentuating the positive

and generally fortifying this miraculous place I find myself building inside.

Instead, I ended up working through some really difficult issues

centering around being safe in my community

and building the gift of self-reliance.

The mental chatter was deafening, the fantasy enactments of healing

and struggle vivid in my mind's eye...

'this is your brain on silence', I wrote.

There's been a palpable vulnerability since I've returned

which I do not fear per se, but it has made for some tender moments

where I've wondered if it's time to ask for help

to vanquish these dragons.

I rationalized that I've spent too much time with them, trying and failing to shake off the feelings

of guilt and fear, but in 14 hours of silence you are excavating, writing and discovering

your history in order to experience a brighter now, five hours from now.

It's work -

When you dig, expect to dust off a few relics.

Unexpectedly, I am coming to find these struggles not just a pesky background noise anymore, but instead a series of archetypes that make me feel every struggle we know

is as old as the hills of Petaluma;

that person

that place

those things...

everyone throughout time has engaged in the self-same mental acrobatics

to heal the rifts, some with great success, others with a map of failure

well-documented -

a cautionary tale to those who venture later into the same labyrinth.

I am grateful that I do not have to feel alone in my search for betterment,

in this delicious breaking open to grow.

November for me is going to be a month of thanksgiving, never mind that we're already three days in - it's never too late to celebrate the reality of wonder.

For today, I am grateful for Pamela and Renew Yoga

a place where discovery and self-work are encouraged

with tenderness and care.

Thank you for such an amazing opportunity to learn and grow alongside 13 other

like-minded and seriously powerful women on this retreat...

and for the song of Grandmother Oak.

What are you grateful for today?

xoxoxo,

Allison

Well well well....

Every few nights when Anthony tucks me into bed

(waaay too early for a 34-year-old woman to fall asleep)

I go through my list of eBay favorites

and search for the rough and polished rocks I cannot get enough of.

A search for King Cobra jasper will turn up mostly mottled brown and cream/tan stones,

nothing like the rough I came across a few years ago that set my kcj obsession in motion.

Last night as luck would have it I found the Holy Grail:

Salmon pink, sage green, rich cherry hints in mustard yellow jasper.

I snapped it up without a second thought and when I get home from all of November's

travels, I intend to slice into this treasure

and make some cabs to set, and perhaps a few to sell.

I just felt so giddy with thrill that I had to share it with you:

for some people their bounty is shoes

for others maybe some sort of rare mushroom;

I heart rocks.

xoxox,

Allison

Shop Closure Dates

Hello All!!

The

Leather

and

Metal

Shops

Will be closed as of Friday, November 4th,

opening back up again on November 18th -

Bee Wing pieces and the fabulous Thunderegg ring will be listed

later this afternoon.

xoxox,

Allison

November's Harvest

Will be small but oh so mighty mightayyy

(I already love you if you know what song those last two lyrics are from)

The first piece I have to show you is a stunner:

a large, organically shaped Kazakhstan Thunderegg Ring.

I cabbed the stone myself and was so amazed at its composition,

so unlike anything else I have ever seen in my rock-loving life:

the matrix was pink and the agate itself was deep blood red, neon yellow and had pockets

of opaque agate that hinted at movement.

For this stone I made a special textured bezel

And a very simple setting so that the unique, rare and deeply satisfying agate artwork would shine shine shine.

I can safely say you'll not see an agate like this but once in a very blue moon.

Kazakhstan Thundereggs go for a MINT online.

This ring has a fern band, wide

And globular accents. It will fit a size 6.5-6.75 finger.

Now, on the wing front, I have been stalking my garden

to see if autumn had claimed any carpenter bees, but there were none to be found

since the last beast I found in the early summer.

Enter my dear Laurie Brown

with whom I spent a few hours on Sunday (more on that at a later date)

and in whose presence I merely had to ask, "Have you a spare bee wing?"

Well, she sure did, and these rolled beauties are the result

of a tiny bit of home surgery and an answered prayer.

Sterling silver bee wing necklace

Light-as-air hammered-edge bee wing oval earrings

Small and dainty bee wing sterling earrings

And copper bee wing earrings!

I may have a few more pieces that show up toward the weekend, but this may be the

sum total of November's smithing:

I have a clutch in the works that I hope to have finished before I leave:

it involves hummingbirds!!!

To reserve any of these lovely metal pieces,

do

CONVO

me

and we'll sort out the details!

xoxox,

Allison

Once More, With Feeling

For the third time in four years, I find myself strapped in

to a Holter monitor to track my heartbeats for 24 hours.

With each instance they have become more and more user friendly:

this one is 5 electrodes and a battery pack around the neck - hooray!!!

On my way home from the appointment, I got run out of my lane

on a two-lane left turn with a solid white line (which means stay in your lane according to the DMV)

and

I rolled my window down to tell the woman she was driving dangerously

and explain California traffic laws

only to have her defend her driving angrily and speed off on a green

going 50 MPH in a 30 zone.

I got my first 'diary entry' for a palpitation from that

experience, so I guess....yay?

But mostly it made me sad, extremely sad.

I want to believe that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they've been

given, I want to have compassion...

We don't seem to realize how we damage those around us:

to her I was a bitch who tried to tell her how to drive

and she may never think twice about that turn until someday someone

next to her doesn't notice her car drift into their lane.

To me, she was a threat to myself, my baby...

We are at war.

So very many of us are at war.

What if she and I would have met instead at the bagel shop down the street?

Perhaps she would have held the door for me

and I would have offered a smile in return,

a warm exchange on a different plane:

I bet she has a lovely side.

All I know is this: tonight she is my tonglen partner

and I will wish her well with all my might.

Maybe tonight you might offer a bit of care for someone whose best is simply not good enough for you, wishing them the strength and courage we all need to get through this

wonderful terrible life.

With love,

Allison

A Time Away

A silent retreat that changed so much in me

.

dinner at Central Market

.

decaf latte for me, strong regular for the lovely tall woman beside me

.

feeding pigeons in San Francisco

.

dinner at Street with some awesome women...

.

Home again, home again jiggety jig

.

Full of so much goodness I can hardly believe how light I feel...

.

Someday soon I hope to tell you about it all,

but for now the softness of the bed beckons

and I hope to dream of Walker Creek Ranch and the hills

of Petaluma.

xoxox,

Allison

Loving Kindness and Chrysoprase

Metta.

Lovingkindness.

These were the subjects last night in yoga, taught for the last time by my favorite teacher.

In the last full year, I've learned so much more about commitment, love and passion from this woman and the lineage of Tibetan Heart Yoga than I ever knew I could hold.

She transformed my practice from one of physical exercise to mental devotion -

to bettering not just myself, but holding loved ones, strangers and everything in between in one's mind as the practice deepens, offering your strength in the hopes that they may be free of suffering,

that all beings may be free of suffering.

There is no feeling like finding a kernel of love for someone who has bullied you

or devoting a long-held warrior III to someone in need.

Even after the car accident when I could not move very much, I would go and sit quietly on my mat just to be in class.

I've realized through my practice that this work I do with my hands is the ultimate expression of Metta in my life. I try to work when I am at peace, and if I find myself

challenged while in my studio I'd rather not leave a piece with that energy;

I don't 'go to bed angry', so to speak.

Metals and hide get filled with intentions and prayers,

packages get wrapped with love and well-wishes for the recipient,

songs are hummed

gratitude is professed

angst is healed here.

This room with its aqua walls is my solace and my saving grace

on days that hurt.

This piece is a perfect example of love in action;

I hand-rolled two different types of green through the mill:

Mendocino Fern

and Jacaranda, a tree that blooms astounding purple blossoms in late spring.

The chrysoprase cab was worked by me on my wheels at home

and the quality of the stone is astounding; the deepest apple green you can ever imagine

and luminous in big ways.

In this piece are wishes for growth and green, tender thoughts and a few kicks from my baby.

Dancing inside the molecules of the silver are calming words

for your fight -

imploring you to let it go,

assuring you that in surrender you will vanquish something far more powerful than an enemy.

The Lovingkindness extends to my family as well:

This piece will feed us, help me grow my studio

and my spirit, nurture this little life we three are building.

I will be donating 20% of the sale of this piece to the Metta Center.

You can find this beauty in the

Metal Shop

this morning.

xoxoxo,

Allison

Fallen Flowers and Sentimental Daughters

My mother left yesterday; I drove her up to the airport after a lunch

of Burmese food and a failed attempt to secure a loaf of brioche bread for her travels.

I love the idea of sending loved ones off with something they can savor.

In the wake of her visit, I am sentimental

quiet

and slow to smile.

It never fails to happen, but this visit was like super-extra-wow special

for so many reasons, not the least of which being a wonderful time with the In-Loves

and the knowledge that our baby is a boy

(whose nickname is already Bubber - I'll share why later)

but the studio, as is the case most frequently, was a balm for me today.

The radio is set to KFOG

the tea refills itself

and the plants have all been watered and encouraged.

As the other two necklaces I previewed in their unfinished state seem to have been

snapped up already,

I have this offering:

A Fallen Labradorite Flower

with warm, curling copper petals

and a luminous labradorescent stone with fire in a trinity of colors:

cobalt blue

marigold

and a nearly green turquoise!

This piece balances perfectly, and is a wonderful option for everyday wear.

It wil be in the

Metal Shop

this evening before I leave for yoga.

With love,

Allison

Born Again Half Belt

Twin bird skulls (my Wright's Beach skull)

frame a juicy, pomegranate carnelian cabochon

set in fine silver and copper

stitched in to warm toffee colored leather

and soft as a silk saffron lamb suede.

"Born Again"

reads the stamped inscription inside.

That phrase can mean anything from

finding new life in religion

to discovering untapped reserves of strength within

recovering from trauma

relinquishing attempts at control

or just simply rising again with the morning sun,

grateful and exuberant.

There is something autumnal about the coloration

but season-less is the subject matter:

death and rebirth are a favorite subject in my studio,

a necessity in the growth of a soul

and the history of earth.

This half-belt measures 28.5 inches ring end to ring end

and looks fabulous strung with a scarf:

Voila!!

Rich in tender touches,

this is an heirloom piece

for a woman who knows the joy of

rising

from slumbers both physical and spiritual.

In the Leather Shop:

HERE.

Love,

Sunny

Beautiful Luxe for Lovely Ears

A few weeks ago at the farmer's market I visited my favorite stand and inquired

after the heirloom tomatoes -

"All gone" was the answer from the pretty girl, and we shared a wry smile.

Last of the season can be a sad moment

but

if you can press the 'last of' into metal, well then:

spring all year!

RESERVE PENDING

These are my last flower petals, adorned in rivets and surrounded by

delicious, nutritious color

monochrome rainbows are the theme:

chrysoprase...

...hits you right in the heart chakra with a cleansing burst!

RESERVE

Supremely luxe Mexican Fire Opal

Yum.

This pair is asymmetrical, with one earring ending in a riveted petal, the other sans flower

parts: it's a bit rock and roll, and oh so posh!!!

Maidenhair Fern and perfect aqua fluorite

So fresh!!!

RESERVED

Short petal dangles and turquoise rondelles

Lovely, lovely luxe

for your beautiful ears.

Do any of these belong to you?

CONVO

me -

I will set them aside and you can take them home when I update the shop this coming Wednesday!

xoxox,

Allison

Stretch

It is currently 5:33 A.M. (the internet being down, this was written in TextEditor) and I have been up for the better part of three hours: insomnia, for the first time since living in New York City.

Granted, Anthony has a head cold and a cough that pops through intermittently in his sleep, so the night sounds have not exactly been peaceful

Still

Sitting here in the dark of my kitchen with only the stove light on I am reminded of that tiny little bedroom in Astoria, Queens, with one window and a futon mattress on the floor, clean as a whistle and containing the only things I owned, mostly excellent castoffs from trash day in the more upscale parts of the borough:

the fabulous heavy dark wood liquor cabinet that held most of my valuables, carted home at midnight on a dolly borrowed from a corner fruit market… the bamboo corner table, the batik print wrap used as a makeshift curtain…

I am reminded of all of the little lives contained in the larger: I've been so many places in my life and time, just like Donny.

There have been a few tears shed here at the table this morning, mostly fatigue but also the deep existential sadness that 5:00 AM brings when the balm of rest has been elusive. Tonight after a rousing game of chicken foot (where I talked such horrendously delicious smack and laughed until I cried at my mother's delightful nature) I felt the first movement in my womb that I knew would translate to the outside world. I put Anthony's hand right below my belly button and waited for Orion to shift and when he did I looked up at Anthony's face and saw such happiness and wonder. Right behind his head like a cancan line, the beaming faces of his mom and dad, mouths open like children.

Later as he tucked me in to bed he would say, "I felt my son" and I would smile at that milestone moment, knowing that there are so many to come.

That is where the tears come from: the nature of change, the beauty of the shifts, the answering of prayers and blessings we beg for… someday my boy will be bigger in my womb, felt by any hand that touches me and even further down the road if God is willing I will hold him in my arms and look into his eyes, slowly learning to give him back to the universe from which he came.

It is an almost unbearable tenderness, this love. Everything seems to melt into it - all of my rancor and misgivings fall powerless like constellations against the heavenly body of the morning sun, invisible. I welcome the way it crushes me even though it hurts so raw and big - we are not supposed to leave this life the way we came into it. I think that part of the divine plan is that we grow bigger, brighter, more generous and compassionate because of our experiences, because of our discomfort and pangs.

And so it goes….

My short ligaments stretch, my baby boy moves my body outward and breaks my heart: I cannot wait to see what future beauty he makes of me.

A Day In The Life

An homage to the "Day in the Life of a Dove" entries that my dear Umber

pioneered-

Today was one of those days that words fail,

SO:

9:06 A.M.

9:22 A.M.

10:00 A.M.

10:22 A.M.

10:37 A.M.

12:45 P.M.

3:15 P.M.

Every moment of the day past 10:43 -

thoughts of our boy,

our Orion.

xoxox,

Sunny

Botanica in Progress

It starts with a handful of wonderful stones:

a rare and deeply colored Parrot Wing Jasper

a self-cabbed piece of Australian Chrysoprase

a brilliant and gem-quality Australian opal

and a stunner of labradorite.

In progress: a double layer of botany:

fern and jacaranda tree leaves

in an asymmetrical necklace

A long seed pod sculptural necklace in which the opal will rest

WOW.

A Fading Flower Necklace - To-Be...

And this final study, a leaf I had collected a few years back in Petaluma,

stuck in a pocket of my grey peacoat and forgotten

until a few weeks ago when I was looking for change:

The leaf had become nearly skeletal, perfectly supple and soft

like an old flannel.

I hope to have these pieces done by the end of the month.

November will be a very sparse month

as I'll be gone for half of it,

split between

Hawaii

and

Minneapolis:

I am getting these beauties in while the energy is right

and the studio is a warm, loving blaze of passion!

Tonight my mother arrives: the best birthday present a woman could ask for!!

Have a wonderful night,

Allison