Sunday, October 26, 2008

Akua and the Inevitable Sadness

It turns out my darling feline friend's name is Akua, and he was born during the hurricane of 1992 that devastated Kauai, along with two other kittens, one of whom still lives with the Nurock family here.
Last night the beach looked like this:

And Akua ( aka Beach Kitteh ) looked like this:

Around and around he went, nudging my back with his cheek, drooling and kneading the sand by my toes over and over again as the sky got pink and the clouds got fat, when finally he climbed on to my lap and we sat, two beings on the beach appreciating each other.
I cried.
I woke up this morning and cried some more: I am having post-wedding letdown.
If Anthony was well and we were tearing around doing exciting things all day until we fell exhausted into sleep each night perhaps this could be avoided. We would then go home, work our asses off releasing the album and Anthony would resume the job search, and I would throw my all into my little shops, etc....... Here in the quiet of Anini Beach there is no where else to focus attention but on the inner workings of your soul and self.
So I am working. I am grieving the wonder and excitement of our amazing wedding and the wondrous people who came to celebrate with us. I am crying for the memories and the speed with which those moments were transformed into mental movies, golden and glowing.
I have my compassionate and lovely husband to guide me through the days and for one last evening I have Akua:

There are crabs and shells to observe and collect ( very different meanings for Akua and me ) and a few goodbyes to make before I head in for one last night at our beach cottage.

Akua Boy, I feel so lucky to have shared sunsets with you on our short beach walks, to have been the one on whose shorts your happy drool puddled and your sharp paws kneaded. It is likely that when all is said and done you will be my finest memory of Kauai outside of living so happily with Anthony in the cottage your humans built. Now that I know your name means 'Spirit' I will not fret that I won't see your face again: you will be summoned by my thoughts and we will have an unseen eternity to walk Anini Beach side by side at sunset.


Katherine said...

I feel so badly that Anthony's sick and you have the inevitable sadness! I got pneumonia immediately after our wedding, so I can relate a bit.

I hope you both feel better soon. Safe travels back.

jordan said...

yeah, that post-wedding letdown stuff can be a bugger...we tried really hard to stretch our wedding out (it ended up being a 4 day party instead of a one day event, which was fantastic)but i still feel like i forget a lot of what happened. i think it happens to everyone. hope you have some good photographs to remember the day by!!
ps akua is VERY lovely. i wonder if he has some sort of fungal disease in his sinuses that's causing his nose to look the way it does?!