Sometimes you just kind of fall apart. Last week I did: I know at least one person who reads this blog who can attest to a teary convo and some deep frustration, heavy and big.
I am hesitant sometimes to be whole here on this blog (read: share the more difficult parts of this path): I think it's important, though, that you know the Being behind the doing.
Every day since last Friday I have been climbing out of that place we all visit often when creativity is the norm: there's just an overflow that happens and it hurts: it's kind of nameless and you try to pin it on something specific and it ends up being a salty soup and typically it is a result of everything that ever happened since that last good cry you had two months ago.
I am just sad this last week or so.
I miss being able to tell Liane that I'll be right over, or telling Terra or Katherine that Wednesday for lunch is best. I was explaining to a friend via email last night that I am at that phase of my 'breakup' with Los Angeles where everything about the place sounds enticing and all of the memories are pristine and happy.
That's not reality.
I live in a lovely small town now: today I went out into it with a desire to experience a little bit more, solo.
I got a pedicure: neon pink
Every step was measured and full of calm breathing: to the Post Office, to the nail spa, to the Market for lettuce and lemons and milk....
To the backyard to visit with the peas that are just growing so beautifully...
I watched my willful little Siamese eat the metal window hardware, determined to experience the true flavor of brass...
Apparently, it haz a flavr.
I am off to tool leather for some custom orders and hopefully to put a few pieces in the shop.
Your support means the world to me: thank you for visiting here, for your kind hearts and good intentions. I am so crazy about all of you and hopefully, after June I can put a smiling face to many of your names.
Love love love love,