Monday, August 22, 2011

Oh Winged Things....

Feather by feather I built my day, hearty in a way the last few weeks have not been:
I had the fortitude to work
the stomach to sit still
without needing to lie down momentarily...

I began working on the long-promised 'seagulls in love' bag.

In looking at it again I discovered
something far greater: they are hovering over an egg, their future:
it made me tear up a bit
as most things do these days.

My heart is cracked open by life
right now,
bleeding compassion
pumping prayer

It is working on these winged things that makes me feel that I can get through
the solid, bricklike emotions
and the moments of crush.

Yesterday Anthony helped me make the stock for homemade chicken soup:
I cannot even look at raw chicken,
could not even imagine handling onions...
today I chopped the celery
and carrots
and put them together with the good start he provided
remembering as I worked how

he sat me down at the kitchen table with gingerale
and forbid me to try and do anything -
I know he misses his capable, passionate wife
and yet he is so tender and loving with the pale wraith-like quiet thing that has
become a substitute

I promise him daily that my vigor will return!

I promise myself daily that this, too is beautiful!

at almost three months, I look like I have had one too many burritos
and I am planning our early November trip to Hawaii
as a way to say, "See? Good things are coming!"



UmberDove said...

So. Much. Good. Is. Coming.

And by the way, today your voice was the cherry on top!

Sunny Rising Leather said...

Umbs, you couldn't have called at a better time: my tank was fumes at that point ;)

Knowing that there is doveliness and perhaps even some Sancho-adoring in my future made everything feel better.

bonddi said...

Feeling for you big time. I had "morning" sickness with my first until almost 5 months, but then, I really made up for it and ate everything I wanted, when I wanted, and how much I wanted. Glorious! I gained 50 pounds, but loved every second of it. Then again, my first was 10 pounds, yikes! Not trying to scare you, I think it is genetic because my second pregancy was twins who weighed 7 and 8 lbs, respectively. Hy Carrumba! Maybe all the lovely winged creations are you feathering your nest?

Gemheaven said...

Ahhh hoping the morning sickness will leave you soon and you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy ~ I promise you its worth it ♥

gallerydarrow said...

I feel for you, I had morning sickness too that lasted all day :( :( Why do babies feel so toxic??

I couldn't even stand the smell of human beings :) :).

It will get better.


Tasha Imajin said...

Aaaaah! Yes! The burrito belly! haha! I saw my mom a couple days ago after not seeing her for 2 weeks and she couldn't keep her hands off my belly. She was so excited to see a little bit of hard roundness there after weeks and weeks of just looking (and feeling!) bloated.

You know what my "can't even dare to THINK about it food" was? Marshmallows! We had a bag in the cupboard and I had to leave the kitchen when my husband had one. The smell! The chewing sound between his teeth. GAAAAG!

The wonders of pregnancy! <3