Most of my posts lately seem destined to be without pictures:
I have few new external vistas to show you:
my yard, this lovely neighborhood in the city
my post office, farmer's marketing and gentle yoga classes...
there are miracles occurring every day, beautiful things unseen.
To state the obvious, yes: part of the miracle is this baby, now the size of a medium green olive or kumquat
the other piece of the marvel is happening somewhere I cannot pinpoint
between my heart, soul and spirit...
it is a reforming of self at its roots:
a cosmic rebirth I cannot even begin to flesh out in writing
but whose light-bones I will try to describe.
I cannot do very much right now, there is little soldering being performed,
I feel victorious if I eat well and hold things - that's enough.
I've always been restless on vacations and during times when I've been instructed to 'take it easy', feeling a guilty pull towards perfection and work
but here in this stillness
I am remembering who I am
and the shocker is that it is not what I do!
What I do is the vehicle that puts the love I feel out into the world palpably,
but re-discovering the woman behind the creative action
has been really nice:
a re-introduction to self, to others.
Being that I'm horizontal a lot, I've been allowing myself to do things previously unthinkable:
Watch seasons 1-4 of Mad Men (currently episode 6, season 3)
not obsessing about getting my money's worth with my unlimited yoga package
(i.e. going 3-4 times/week)
giving up the ghost when it comes to whole grains/lean meats/dark veggies:
right now it's fruit, crackers and Babybel Cheese rounds
stop worrying about finances
give over to the desire to sleep whenever it strikes me, and it certainly does that alot...
there have been books consumed,
letters written and read
real gingerale and ice
sweet, long conversations between Anthony and I where we laugh more than ever before
about things we previously frowned over
long sighs that feel so good
sweet misguided attempts to dress up that end in comfies again
evening walks with the handsomest man I know
the sound of crickets and peepers in the dark...
In all of this there is a rediscovery of life at its most basic and beautiful:
I am falling in love with everything
letting the right ones in
and cherishing this time of newness and rest.
I wish you a rediscovery or two in the coming days!