Thursday, August 6, 2009

Blue

I awoke so blue and so sensitive today that I knew only one thing could make me smile: my people.

I got an email from one of my very favorite photographers and a call from my Matt E O to discuss our gigs coming up in Spokane:
if you live in that area check out the dates HERE.


I have come up against a crazy challenge in my work life: with my custom order list closed I have found in the last ten days no non-custom pieces seem to be selling.
I am trying to trust in the process of creativity, but I am profoundly aware today of just how much I rely on positive reinforcement to tell me how 
good
or worthwhile
my art is. I know that what I need to do is make something for myself using one of the myriad stones I have been hoarding of late.
I need to get that Goodwill bag together,
dust the cobwebs from the corners of my house and my mind
and gently carry on with my tender heart.

To keep making because I cannot NOT.

Lord knows how and why we get so sensitive, but I know this is one of those days where I simply must surrender to God those things I feel I cannot carry:

the homesickness for Los Angeles

the wide expanse of fear in my heart over things I cannot control

the erratic path of change.



Receiving this parcel of amethyst has been another amazing moment:


Three of the pieces are already spoken for (one for a woman who doesn't even know she has spoken but has been trying to outbid my customers (over the phone with me) for their custom orders in her own lovingly feisty way. She did give birth to me, so I figure she deserves anything! ) but the last will be available to the one who claims it first.

I always feel a little odd admitting when things aren't so rosy on this blog, because I don't know how much to share or keep hidden, but I want to be honest.
No matter what color I am that day.

16 comments:

susie said...

Some days are just blue. We all have them. I create because I love and need to do it. I do it for me, but there is always the need and desire for what I do to be appreciated by others - to know that its not just me, that others too can see the beauty in my soul fulfilled (in whatever art form I am using). To create art is to turn your insides out and show it to the world. If I had the means I would snap up your heirloom bag and about half of your metal shop. The slowness in your shop has nothing to do with the beauty of your work. The blue is unavoidable. May tomorrow be a yellow or an orange day (my ideas of the happiest colors). Take care.

dailycoyote said...

Hey Darlin' ~
Been thinking of you much lately!

Your work is gorgeous and I've had to sit on my hands every single day this week because I'm saving for something big and am back to my uber-frugal mode for the time being.... but my eyes turn to cartoon hearts when I visit your site and your shops. Every single time.

xo S.

Katherine said...

What you create is wonderful, all of it. I agree with Susie, however once I get a job I will have to fight her for that half of your metal shop...It shall be mine! I've already started leaving little hint notes for my bf to pick up on... "Dear Mr, wouldn't this be a nice present for a gf?" To be acknowledged for your talent is something you should always want. Please know that all of us appreciate the work you do and the joy you bring to those who wear your creativity day to day :)

xoxo

Michelle - Revelate said...

I think I know what those are for... ;)

-Don't forget, there was just a full Moon and she always has an effect on moods-

Nancy*McKay said...

...remember sweet Sun...your "value"...is based upon

your hearts...heaRTS...HEARTS...

not your $...$$..$$$

...we are SOLD...on YOU!

RosyRevolver said...

I'll be writing you a convo about this later . . . but know I'm thinking of you. You are bursting at the seams with talent and beauty; worry not lovely lady.

Sunny Rising Leather said...

Dearest Sisters of the Keyboard,

You make me cry with your understanding and sensitivity: thank you. I would like to stress that it's not the lack of sales that is making me sad: it's what that lack brought to light in my heart: doubt, fear, etc.
I don't know if I was specific about that enough in the entry.
I want to know what my art is worth in my heart.
I am enamored of each and every one of you.
xoxoxoxo,
Allison

liz r. said...

Chiming in a bit late here (had to get the kiddos to bed first!). You're a wise woman, Ms. Sunny, and I have no doubt you will clear out those cobwebs, make yourself something gorgeous (photos please!) and rise above the blueness. Fear and doubt always arise when creativity is involved, but remember that they're phantoms. Set them in God's lap, as you have done, and keep on with your wonderful work.

Two Bees said...

Keep a smile on your face and a hammer in your hand! In due time my friend.

Taddyporter said...

oh you are just something special sweet and darling girl! I hear you when you say you were feeling tender today, I know, I know. BUT! you know this too: with discomfort cometh clarity and deep feelings revealed if one sits with it for a spell(which I know you to do).....please believe you are precious cargo, every bit of you, the past, here and now and what is to come.

And I I I ammmmm so delirious with joy to see you play music in my town(and LLLLUCKY! WOWOWOW!) I will send you a message with details. a warm embrace and a kiss on the cheek to you~~M.

Kiki said...

Oh no! Don't let yourself be taken over by the Bad Smurf Blues (as I like to think of them)! Maybe right now you need to take a little time to reinvigorate your creative well with an artistic pursuit that you haven't visited in a while. Sometimes viewing the creative process from another angle gives fresh confidence and daring!
P.S. You've got to be the Amethyst queen. You get your hands on some of the best pieces I've seen!

bella-bijoujewellery said...

Oh sweet lady - I read your post and its like your words came straight outta my head - I too woke up feeling blue. With a lack of sales as well, I have let fear and doubt and confusion take over - its an ugliness I wish I was better equipped to deal with. Confused about the next step, doubt about my works worth to anyone but me, and fear that perhaps none of it will get to show its pretty sparkle to the world.
much love for a fellow metalsmith ♥
-jaime

Dave said...

Ok... next time your blue write a song so the next cd isn't so totally happy... lady put down the jewelry and sing.

HA...

I know you kid... you love life too much to stay blue for too long.

Runs4fun said...

I am blessed and touched...thank you...from the depths of my heart.

Have a peaceful day...where thoughts make you smile softly.

sylvestris said...

Sometimes when this happens (and it happens to every creative person sooner or later), it's signaling a turn into something new. Your current work IS beautiful...AND you could also be on the verge of a "discontinuous evolutionary leap".

It'll happen when it happens. All you need to do is carry on at an easy lope and let your senses lie open.

XO
Dorothy

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry you're feeling blue! If it helps at all, know that I absolutely covet the Stars in the Earth Drusy ring and am saving my pennies for it (though I wouldn't be at all sour if some lucky girl got to it before me).

You create lovely work.