The miracle of my adult life.
Today we had a setback, a potential renter that didn't seem to work out... we thought everything was set in stone, but it wasn't. It was fluid and moving, an unsigned lease agreement. Now it's back to square one for our gorgeous, soon-to-be-empty condo.
My heart started its familiar flopping fish sensation after 2 PM and I could not seem to get it under control: still can't, but I am having tremendous patience with/love for my amazing ceaseless organ and all that it has beat through lately!
A big piece of the puzzle we thought was solved came undone and so did I today.
This evening my Husband and I sat at our little kitchen table, surrounded by boxes and beset with worries that we cannot even understand completely....
We talked frankly and tenderly from opposite sides of the table
Loved each other into real laughter
And I cried to know that I get to be with him until we are no longer earthly.
He is so magnificent and we are so in love, even with all of this stuff that hasn't felt normal at all.
Anthony has been my rock and my gentle guide through the most harrowing moments of change and my partner in happiness when good news has come.
Nothing has ever been more consistent than his love for me and mine for him.
We will find another renter. We will weather these storms of fear and real challenge with our heads on straight and our deepest respect in place.
It is the only thing I know right now.