Saturday, March 7, 2009

Tears



With each lovely and amazing friend I've told the news to here in Southern California there is a fresh crop of tears harvested between us. I awoke with swollen eyes.

For the first time in my life I see these tears as a function: they are carrying me somewhere new. I am not lost in the emotion of pain, I am literally moving in a direction and without the added salt water perhaps I would have a hard time slipping through the constricted places into my new life.

I never realized how much I love so many many many people. I have barely begun to say my goodbyes. The comfort is that it's only a 400 miles trip away: I can and will return often for many reasons, not the least of which being music or the chance of a good craft fair.

Katherine, my dearest friend who made Anthony and I man and wife, discovered and sent me a piece of an article that talked about Petaluma being one of the few places with solid bedrock beneath it: earthquakes aren't felt with severity there.... is that amazing or what?

Everyone so far has offered their couches or guest rooms upon my return, which is heartening, and I have a tour with Matt and Phil in late May/ early June, so there's a ton of things to look forward to in terms of the connective tissue between my new home and Los Angeles.

I just have to keep floating down this river of tears until something comes into view that I can make familiar once again. It is one of the most beautiful and stark pieces of our emotional life: grief is not always a welcome visitor, but it makes us who we will be as gently and quickly as it needs to.

3 comments:

Dave said...

I wish you peace on your journeys... you have more friends to make, more people to touch with your gifts of craft and singing, and you will glow wherever you land.

Twenty + years ago I moved Lori 250 miles from her family, and she is happier today than she was back then, with more not less friends.

Dave

susie said...

Here's to finding solid ground. May good luck, good fortune, and more friends await you.
Susie

radcow said...

oh my! Youre Moving?
may you land softly sweetness, and that is such amazing news about the book!! yay! I used to work at Tandy and looking through all the books I would always get so annoyed with the fact that everything they offered was published in 1979. really? can people only ever carve western and floral things? Has leather craft not evolved since then? When I first saw your work, I saw it as the next step up from where Al stoleman left off. I think You are the perfect ambassador to usher in a new age of leather craft to the world, and Im so excited for you!